


A New Years Kiss

by alexmoregon



Category: USWNT - Fandom
Genre: F/F, USWNT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-05-16 06:55:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19312939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexmoregon/pseuds/alexmoregon
Summary: In a dark room at a New Years Party, Tobin finally received a kiss at midnight. Now she just has to figure out who it was from.





	1. Happy New Year!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! I'm such a huge fan of the USWNT and I know theres so many people out there who are as well! I decided I wanted to write this just cause i have a lot more time now that school is out and with the women's world cup coming up, i thought it was a perfect combination. Plus, I feel like a lot of really good ships get ignored lol. Either way, this series, if you guys want me to continue it will basically be one big question on who Tobin will end up with without me giving it away until the very end. So let me know what you think!

Tobin Heath has never been one for parties, or any kind of large social gatherings, actually. She would, of course, attend her teammates and closest friends weddings, but that was about it.

If she had the choice of going to a party or staying in, Tobin would always pick the latter.

And yet, here Tobin was, getting ready for a party. Of all the different kinds of parties - weddings, after parties, birthday parties, random parties, Tobin absolutely hated New Year parties the most. She never understood what was so exciting about sitting around a TV until midnight, and waiting for a ball to drop. And what was so special about midnight? You either had someone to kiss and celebrate the new year with, or you desperately looked for someone to do so.

Tobin has never been in a relationship during New Years, so while she watched everyone kissing their loved ones at midnight, Tobin always entered the new year feeling lonely.

The only reason Tobin was even going to a New Years Party was because it was being hosted by Lauren Holiday and her husband Jrue. Since they lived in two separate regions of the country, Tobin would take any chance she could to see her. She also knew that Amy Rodriguez would be there, another good friend of theirs, and that it would be a a while until the three of them would be in the same place again.

Ever since Amy and Lauren stopped playing for the USWNT, Tobin went from seeing her best friends every day, to once or twice a year, only on special occasions. And it’s not like she didn’t try to keep in contact, but it’s hard to have conversations with people who just aren’t similar to you anymore. Lauren and Amy were moms, and Tobin wasn’t even in a serious relationship.

Tobin knew the love would always be there, but the compatibility? Not so much. She ended up severing ties with some of her other friends still on the national team as well. Not intentionally, and it’s not like Tobin stopped caring about her friends, but she went from having some really close friends in Kelley O’Hara, Alex Morgan, and Allie Long specifically, to just being friendly to them.

“Tobin!!!” Lauren exclaimed as she opened the door. Tobin smiled at her friend’s enthusiasm and hugged her.

“I’ve missed you bud.” Tobin told her, earning a smile from Lauren.

“I’ve missed you too.” Lauren said, facing Tobin. “You look hot.”

I look like an idiot. Tobin thought to herself. She didn’t mind dressing up, but she never quite liked the way she looked once she did. However, she’s learned if she admitted that to people, they would then go on and on about her looks, so she always had the perfect response to get the attention off of herself.

“You look really good too.” Tobin said, truly meaning it. 

“Come in! Basically everyone is here. Megan, Morgan…Christen.” Lauren winked as she brought Tobin in the house.

“Christen’s here?” Tobin repeated as she began to feel slightly anxious. 

“Mhm. As a matter of fact, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to come, and then I told her you would be coming and all of a sudden she was free. Isn’t that interesting?”Lauren teased, nudging Tobin’s side.

Oh, Christen. Probably the only person on the national team Tobin still regularly talks to. About 6 months ago, Tobin began feeling something for Christen. It all happened when they were assigned to be roommates at camp, and instead of sleeping before a friendly, they ended up talking about everything and anything the entire night. It wasn’t intentional, but neither of them wanted to go to sleep. They just both enjoyed talking to each other so much they let the night slip by.

Ever since, Tobin has been head over heels for Christen. The two have grown close, becoming bus buddies, grabbing dinner together, hanging out between practices. But she was way too scared to ever make a move. She wasn’t even sure if Christen was into girls.

“Look who it is!” Amy said, bringing Tobin out of her thoughts.

“A-Rod!” Tobin said, pulling her and Lauren into a hug.

“Aw, the new kids are back together.” Amy commented making both Lauren and Tobin laugh.

“It’s been a hot minute since I’ve even heard that name.” Lauren truthfully said.

“It never grows old.” Amy said, breaking up the hug. “I’ve missed you both so much.”

“I’ve missed you too.” Tobin said. “I’ve missed both of you a lot. The team isn’t the same without you guys.”

“Oh really? Cause you seem to be doing fine with Christen there.” Lauren said, bringing up the topic again. 

Funny enough, Tobin has never said a thing about Christen to Lauren or Amy. But Lauren’s investigative skills have always been unparalleled and she could tell when her friend, especially someone as close as Tobin was interested in anyone.

“What?!” Amy said with her eyes widened. “Is that why Christen has been mentally undressing you ever since you came in here?” She said, making Tobin blush and Lauren laugh.

“She has not.” Tobin defended.

“Oh yeah she has. Look, she’s doing it right now.” Amy said, pointing in Christen’s direction. Tobin turned to see Christen having a conversation with Allie, but occasionally glancing at Tobin in front of her. Once Tobin and her caught eyes, Christen waved and Tobin smiled, and then turned back to her friends.

“That was a lot of sexual tension.” Lauren said, making Tobin playfully roll her eyes.

“Wait, when did this thing start happening? Tobin, spill everything!” Amy said, poking at Tobin’s side.

“There is no thing. We are just friends.” Tobin defended.

“Yeah, friends who want to date each other.” Lauren teased.

“How comes she knows and I don’t?” Amy said, crossing her arms, pretending to be offended. “You always tell Lauren stuff but never tell me.”

“I haven’t told Lauren anything because there is no anything.” Tobin defended.

“There is no anything.” Lauren mocked, playfully rolling her eyes. “I’ll tell you about it Amy. So basically-“

As much as Tobin loved Amy and Lauren, she couldn’t stand to hear them talk about her love life, or lack thereof. So, she slowly creeped away until she saw that her friends were too engaged in their conversation to notice. However, once she turned around, she didn’t see Christen in her previous spot, so she decided to go looking for her and hopefully start up a conversation with her.

 

“Hey.” Tobin was brought out of her thoughts when she heard a familiar voice. She looked up to see Alex, sitting on a chair in front of her.

“Hey.” Tobin responded, giving her a small smile.

“What are you doing here?” Alex said.

“Nice to see you too.” Tobin said, and Alex shook her head,

“I mean, like, I know parties aren’t really your thing. Is all.” She clarified. 

Tobin lightly laughed, “No worries. I’m only here because Lauren probably would have killed me if I didn’t come. What about you? I know Orlando must have been a long flight.”

“Actually I wasn’t in Orlando.” Alex replied.

“What? I thought you and Servando were spending the holidays there.“ Tobin said,noticing Alex’s face drop.

“Servando and I aren’t doing much together these days. We’re getting a divorce. Or I guess, we are, we are divorced. Everything was finalized yesterday.” Alex corrected.

“Oh.” Was all that Tobin could say. She had no idea Servando and Alex were even separated, and immediately felt guilty for bring it up.

“Hey, it’s all good.” Alex said, awkwardly laughing. “I mean, how were you supposed to know? It’s not like we talk anymore or anything.”

Tobin knew Alex didn’t mean to make that sound harsh, but she couldn’t help but feel that way. Before the conversation could somehow get even more awkward, Alex spoke up again. “I’ve been uh- crashing with Kelley. Who by the way, is looking for you.”

“Kelley has been looking for me?” Tobin repeated, and Alex nodded.

“She did. I mean she’s drunk because she insisted on pre-gaming before we got here, but she really seemed to want to talk to you about something.” Alex shrugged, “either way, Happy New Years Tobin.”

As Tobin watched Alex walk away, she felt terrible. She remembered when Servando and her would throw parties like this, how happy they used to be, and now they’re getting a divorce. She wondered what went wrong with them, and that’s all she could do, wonder. If they were closer, Tobin would probably know all the details of Alex’s divorce. Tobin was Alex’s confidant, her shoulder to cry on, her best friend. But now she’s just a coworker.

As much as she wanted to comfort Alex, and see if she was okay, she knew that wasn’t her place anymore. And just when Tobin felt like she couldn’t feel more guilty, she remembered that today, December 31st, was when Alex and Servando got married.

Tobin was brought out of her thoughts when she realized she should probably stop looking for Christen and go look for Kelley. She had no idea why Kelley was looking for her, and if she was drunk, she was drunk, it probably wasn’t that important. But still, Tobin wondered.

Tobin ended up in the kitchen, where she didn’t find Kelley, but Christen instead, ironically enough. She smiled and headed towards her to strike up a conversation. As Tobin approached Christen through a crowd of people, Christen smiled once her eyes met Tobin, the same way she did before, exponentially increasing the butterflies already present in Tobin’s stomach.

“Hey you! Happy New Years.” Christen said once Tobin finally approached her.

“Happy New Years. But actually I don’t think you can say that until it’s New Years.” Tobin chuckled.

“Right.” Christen giggled, “Happy New Years Eve then.” She said, raising a glass of champagne and passing one to Tobin. “I was saving it for you.”

“Happy New Years Eve.” Tobin repeated, taking the glass and drinking it.

“It’s so cool that Lauren and Jrue get to host parties like this. I can’t wait until its my turn.”

“Your turn?” Tobin asked.

“Yeah. You know, post retirement bliss with the one you love, hosting parties, going on vacation, finally getting to be a normal married couple.” Christen smiled at the thought.

“Is that what you want? Marriage? A big house? Kids, the whole thing?” Tobin wondered.

Christen bit her lip, “I mean, eventually. But right now, I just want to be with the person I want to be with.” Tobin knew she couldn’t be talking about her, but Tobin’s body felt like she was. The butterflies in her stomach had now turned to steel.

“Is that what you want? Marriage, kids?” Christen asked, slightly changing the subject out of fear that she made Tobin uncomfortable.

“Nah. I guess I just want to be with the person I want to be with too.” Tobin smiled, reassuring Christen. “And you know, maybe you’ll find your person love here tonight?” Tobin wondered.

“Don’t think so.” Christen said, finishing her drink. “I already found them.” Tobin was taken aback but Christen’s comment, but tried to play it cool, exerting all her energy to do so.

“And this person… are they…”

“Here?” Christen finished her sentence, making Tobin nod. “Maybe.”

“Tobin! My god there you are.” Amy said, coming up to Christen and Amy. “Christen, I hope you don’t mind, but I’d really like to steal Tobin here? She completely ditched the conversation we were having earlier.”

“Of course you can. As long as I get her back before midnight.” With that, Christen walked away and Tobin turned to Amy who was thinking the same thing.

“Tobin, she’s so into you.” Amy said, jumping up and down.

Tobin just laughed and took Amy’s hand. “Come on, let’s go find Lauren.”

 

Tobin spent the next hour thinking about what Christen said. All that Christen said.How she wanted to be with the person she liked, how that person may be at the party. How she wanted her back before midnight. Well honestly, that last part Tobin didn’t completely understand. Why would she want her back before midnight? _What’s meant to happen at midnight?_

Tobin, Lauren and Amy decided to sit on the patio outside. While everyone else was inside dancing, the three of them preferred to catch up. And even though Tobin was having a great time with her best friends, Lauren was able to tell that her mind was elsewhere.

“Tobs.” Lauren said, “You’re totally ghosting on me here. What’s going on in your head?”

“Nothing. I’m just really going to miss you guys.” Tobin said, looking at them and earning and ‘aww’ from them both. Shortly after, Amy and Lauren’s husband, Adam and Jrue came out with their children to join them.

“What’s going on? Is everything okay?” Lauren wondered as her daughter climbed onto her lap.

“Yeah, it’s just almost midnight.” Jrue said, placing an arm around his wife. Immediately after, Amy gasped.

“Tobin! That’s what she meant by she needs to have you back before midnight! She wants to kiss you!” Amy realized, causing Lauren to react, “What?!?!”

“I was talking to Christen and Amy came over to take me away and then Christen said of course as long as she could have her back before midnight but I really don’t think-“ Tobin began to explain but Lauren cut her off.

“I love you both, but you both are idiots.”

“Hey!” Amy and Tobin both defensively reacted.

“Amy, you’re just figuring that out now? With-“ She paused to check the time. “3 minutes before midnight?!”

Before Amy could speak, Lauren turned her attention to Tobin. “And you- what are you still doing out here? She’s in there probably looking for you!”

“Lauren-“ Tobin spoke but Lauren interrupted, “No. Do not fight me on this. Her exact words were that she needed to have you back before midnight? Right?” Tobin nodded and Lauren smiled. “Tobin, beautiful sweet amazing Tobin. I love you, but if you don’t get in that house right now, you will never step foot in it again.” She said, making Amy laugh.

“I don’t know.” Tobin hesitated. Sure, it may have seemed like Christen was flirting and wanted to kiss Tobin at midnight but Tobin did not have enough confidence to believe that, and she was beyond scared to act upon it. She didn’t want to go and find Christen kissing someone else.

“Tobin, you can’t keep hiding from your emotions. Seriously, as your best friends, as your sisters, you need to go in there and kiss her.” Amy pleaded. Between Amy’s begging and Lauren’s sternness, Tobin found the courage to stand up, take a deep breath and say, “I’m gonna go kiss Christen at midnight.” Earning cheers from Jrue, Adam, Amy and Lauren. She confidently walked into the house but was stopped by someone. It was way too dark in there for her to tell.

“Tobin!” Kelley said, leaning in her ear so that she knew it was her.

“Kelley!” Tobin said, excited to see her, but also in a rush because she was on a time crunch here.

“I’ve been looking for you all night!!!!!” She said, hugging Tobin and moving them side to side.

“What’s up?” Tobin said, urging Kelley to hurry up.

“Remember back in 2014, at Alex’s wedding, when we said if we both weren’t dating anyone in 5 years, we would give each other a chance?!?!” Tobin, surprisingly enough did remember making this deal with Kelley. They were both drunk, as drunk as Kelley is in this moment, and miserable at Alex’s wedding. She knew Kelley was joking, but was desperate to get away from the conversation as she looked on her phone and saw a minute until midnight.

“Kelley, I gotta go.” She said, walking away. As she got furthered into the crowd, she got no closer to finding Christen. She searched, she walked around, she looked around, but it was incredibly dark and there were so many people between her teammates from the national team, and Jrue’s teammates from the Pelicans. As people began to count down,

_10…9…8!_

Tobin did a quick scan of the room and began to feel helpless.

_7...6...5!_

_Great._ Tobin thought. _Not only do I not have someone to kiss, but now I’m stuck in the middle of the party having to watch other people kiss._

_4…3…2!_

Just as Tobin turned around, getting ready to walk out the house, someone took her hand and turned her back around.

_1! Happy New Year!_

Tobin felt a pair of warm hands on her face, as she was soon after met with a kiss. Tobin,placed her hands on their hips, almost like an instinct, and kissed the person back.

And honestly, the kiss was _good_. Tobin knew it, the person Tobin was kissing knew it, making the two feel comfortable. That was, until Tobin realized what she was doing, and how weird the situation actually was, and pulled away. Before she could figure out who it was, the person ran away. Tobin tried to follow their path, but quickly lost the person in the crowd of people.

For the first time in Tobin’s life, she had kissed someone at midnight on New Years Eve. She just had no idea who it was.


	2. We?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin enlists help from an unexpected someone to help figure out who kissed her at New Years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, you guys are SO amazing. I really didn’t think anyone was going to read this, so thank you so much if you’re giving this a chance!! And thank you if you commented or left kudos or bookmarked the last chapter or interacted with my emerging story in any way! It means more to me than you’ll ever know! Enjoy :)

“So?!” Lauren said as Tobin approached her friends.

“When’s the wedding?” Amy only half joked.

“I- couldn’t find her.” Tobin said, earning sympathetic looks from her friends. “It’s fine! The year just started, which means I now have 365 days to find someone to kiss for next year.” Tobin assured them.

She felt bad about not being honest, especially with Lauren and Amy. But to make herself feel better, she told herself that she wasn’t exactly lying.

Plus, Lauren and Amy were busy with their families and wouldn’t be able to dive deep into this like they used to be able to. She didn’t want to bother them with her drama.

Tobin told herself it wasn’t drama. Some random person was probably too drunk and kissed her. It didn’t mean anything.

Unless, it did. All the people at that party, and someone had chose to bring in the New Year with Tobin. Tobin thought it was kinda cute, until she didn’t.

_Because it probably wasn’t intentional. The person probably was drunk._

_Unless, they weren’t. I mean, they had pretty good coordination for someone who was drunk._ Tobin thought, but quickly dismissed it.

Even if they weren’t drunk, Tobin knew she probably wasn’t the only lonely person at that party. To her, it was probably just another person who did’t want to feel alone in a crowd of people surrounded by their loved ones.

_The person probably just confused me for someone else..._

_But maybe they didn’t._

Maybe the person knew it was Tobin, and wanted to kiss her.

Realistically, at least to Tobin, it was a mistake. And she hated herself for kissing the person back, they were probably laughing at her right now because they thought, that she thought it meant something, when to them, it meant nothing. 

_Unless it did mean something._

_Enough_. Tobin thought, dismissing her own thoughts. It had been like this for a week, Tobin debating with herself back and forth on if that kiss was intentional. And it made Tobin angry.

_Why wouldn't they just, take me outside and do it in the light, where I could see them?_

_Unless they didn't want me to see them._

Whatever it meant to the other person, Tobin thought of the kiss as a mistake. So she decided to drop it.

 

2019 was going to be a big year for Tobin, for the entire USWNT. It was a world cup year. Her and her team has a huge target on their back as the defending world cup champions. She concluded that worrying about the kiss would be detrimental to her performance on the pitch, since it was nothing about a distraction.

She knew she had more important things to focus on. Long term - the world cup later this year. But short term, the January camp with the national team. 

It was the first official day of camp. Everyone had gotten in earlier that morning and the team was cycling off of the bus into the team meeting, followed immediately by a practice. Tobin was looking down on her phone when saw someone sit next to her out of the corner of her eye. 

“I guess now I can say it. Happy New Years.” 

Tobin couldn’t help by smile as she turned towards Christen. _Did she somehow get even more beautiful in the past week?_  

“Happy New Years, Christen.” Tobin said, smiling. As soon as she made eye contact with her, she looked down to get a quick peak of Christen’s lips.

_I’m being way too creepy right now. Tobin told herself, as she fixed her eyes back up to make eye contact with Christen._

Christen began talking about something, Tobin didn’t know what, because she didn’t hear a single thing she was saying.

_Hey, by the way Chris, any chance you were the person I made out with last night?_

Yeah, that was normal _enough_ , Tobin rationalized. Either Christen would say yes, and the mystery be solved, or she would say no, and Tobin would no longer care about who kissed her, as she would confirm it must have been a mistake.

“Hey-" Tobin spoke up, gaining the courage to ask. Christen nodded, allowing Tobin to continue speaking.

“Any chance we-" And just like that, Tobin’s courage vanished in mid air.

_What if Chris says yes and then she thinks the kiss meant so little to me I couldn’t even remember it? What if she says no and she thinks kissing means so little to me, I go around doing it randomly all the time?_

“Did you, uh, how was- how was your New Years?” Tobin asked, immediately regretting it. 

_Smooth Tobin, smooth._

“Tobin, I think you know how my New Years was.” Christen smiled, inching closer to Tobin. “I mean you were there,” she giggled.

“Alright girls listen up! Meeting is officially starting.” The two were interrupted when she heard the voice of their head coach, Jill, up front. Tobin immediately stopped the conversation and shifted her focus to the meeting. 

 

But, as soon as the meeting ended and the team headed onto the bus for practice, Tobin went right back to thinking about the kiss.

The kiss that was making her lose her mind. The kiss that Tobin didn’t know how to ask about without seeming like a tool. The kiss that may have been shared with Christen. The kiss that may not have been shared with Christen.

That idea made Tobin smile as she climbed onto the bus and sat next to her bus buddy, who just so happened to be Christen, of all people. She knew she wouldn’t be able to talk much to Christen because she preferred to listen to music on the bus, but even just Christen’s presence was enough to lift Tobin's mood.

Tobin was a complete mess during practice. Her touches were bad, she wasn’t getting back to defend fast enough, and anyone could get past her easily. It was so bad that Jill actually pulled Tobin aside to talk to her. 

“What’s going on Tobin? Cause you’re not looking too good out there.” Jill truthfully stated. 

“I’m just, I’m just having a bad day. And I know we can’t afford those with this world cup coming up, but I swear this is temporary. Tomorrow I’ll be back to normal.” 

“I’ve always liked you Tobin.” Jill said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “And I appreciate your honesty.Now if I’m being honest- you’re right, We can’t afford bad days with this world cup coming up. I need you sharp, everyday. Okay?”

Tobin nodded and Jill sent her back into the drill. Now she knew she had to stop thinking about the kiss, about Christen, about everything.

 _We can't afford bad days with this world cup coming up._  

 

As they got back to the hotel, Dawn passed around the roommate sheet. Once it go to Tobin and she saw her roommate, she sighed.

It was bad enough that Tobin and Alex had a super awkward conversation at the party, a result of them having nothing else to talk about, and now they would be in a confined living space for about a month, allowing for even more awkward conversations to take place. 

There was a time where both Tobin and Alex were excited to be roommates, because it meant they would have more time to hang out. But now, it meant nothing to the both of them, and they both knew that.

After unpacking her clothes, Tobin decided to take a nap, the only way she could truly avoid her thoughts was if she was asleep. But as she laid on her bed and stared at the ceiling, she couldn’t quite fall asleep.

She tried so hard not to think about the kiss. She thought about her family, about her college days, about what life would look like if she was a professional tennis player - anything that wouldn’t trigger any thoughts about the kiss, but regardless of what was on her mind, her brain always found a pathway back to thinking about the kiss. 

“Tobin!” Alex exclaimed, making Tobin jump. “I’ve been asking you for the past 5 minutes if you wanted to something to eat? I’m gonna go grab food with Allie and Kelley right now.” 

“Oh.” Tobin said. “No. I’m okay. Thanks though.” 

“Alright, what’s going on?” Alex questioned, but Tobin shook her head. 

“Nothing.” Tobin nonchalantly replied. 

“You’ve been staring at the ceiling for like 2 hours. You haven’t looked at your phone, you haven’t pulled out your laptop, you haven’t even gotten up to use the bathroom. Honestly, i’m a little creeped out.” Alex said, making Tobin laugh. 

“I’m fine Alex. Seriously. Don’t worry about me.” 

Alex knew she should drop it, but something was telling her not to. She knew not a lot of things bothered Tobin, especially to the point where it affected her soccer the way it did at practice before, so whatever it was must have been a big deal.

“Are you sure?” She asked, and Tobin nodded. “Cause today at practice you seemed a little..." She carefully looked for words not to offend Tobin. "Off.”  

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Tobin reassured, wishing Alex would stop asking about it. Out of all the people in the world, Alex was probably the last person Tobin would confide in right now. Not just because they weren’t close, but she knew Alex was going through her own dilemmas. 

With that, Alex gave her a small smile and got up towards the door. “Alright well, I’m gonna-“

“Someone kissed me at midnight for New Years and I have no idea who it was.” Tobin blurted out. She had no idea why- she didn’t even feel comfortable telling Lauren or Amy, and yet, here she was spilling the details to Alex.  

Alex stopped in her tracks, “What?” 

“You know what? Never mind.” Tobin said, immediately regretting her decision. “Enjoy your food.” She told her, covering her face with a pillow. 

“No, no no no.” Alex said, removing the pillow and sitting on the foot of Tobin’s bed so that Tobin couldn’t ignore her. “What did you just say?” She said, slightly out of disbelief. 

Tobin sat up, “Someone kissed me at midnight for New Years and I have no idea who it was.”

“No idea? You have no idea who it was?” Alex wondered.

“Well, it was dark. You know, you were there. And someone just kinda kissed me.” Tobin clarified. 

“How do you know it wasn’t just a friendly kiss?” Alex thought out loud but Tobin disagreed. 

“I don’t know.” Tobin truthfully told. “I mean, it wasn’t just like a peck on the lips Alex, it was a full on kiss. But, like who would want to kiss me? That’s the part I don’t get.”

“You don’t get why someone would want to kiss you?” Alex asked.

“Yeah. I mean- I’m not interested in anyone. I know no one is interested in me.”

Alex rolled her eyes, “You know Tobin, the best thing about you is also the worst thing. You are so oblivious.”

“How so?” Tobin wondered.

“Kissing someone at midnight is like, the most sacred kiss of them all. Seriously, it goes your wedding kiss, and then a new years kiss." 

“It’s a stupid tradition for people to flaunt the fact that they’re not alone.” Tobin said. 

"To each other." Alex said, not completely disagreeing with Tobin. "It's a stupid tradition for people to fault the fact that they're not alone to each other. It’s like a person saying, there is no other person in this entire world I would rather be with, I would rather go into this new year with, than you, and I want you to know that." Alex said, and Tobin smiled. 

 _I guess I never really thought of the kiss that way_. 

“So uh,” Alex cleared her throat. “It definitely wasn’t an accident. Or at least I think so. Is all I’m saying. Either way, what are you going to do about it?” 

Tobin shrugged. She’s spent weeks thinking about the kiss, but not one thought crossed her mind about what she would do about the kiss.

“I… honestly don’t know. I mean what can I do? Go up to people and ask did we make out at Cheney’s party?”

Alex laughed at Tobin’s sarcasm. “Yeah, you’d be giving off super creepy vibes if you go around asking people that.”

Tobin laughed as well, but more serious concerns arose at the prospect of asking people if they kissed her. What if she ended up accidentally outing one of her teammates? What if it was one of her teammates who’s in a relationship and confused Tobin for their partner?

“This is ridiculous.” Tobin said, finally finding clarity ever since the kiss. “I’m going to forget about it. It was probably just a random person who was looking for someone to kiss and they probably felt alone.” Tobin rationalized, but Alex disagreed. 

“I thought we decided it was intentional.” Alex spoke up, but Tobin shook her head.

“Even if it was, what am I going to do about it? We just said there’s no way of me finding out who it was without some major backlash. And if the person wanted me to know who it was, they wouldn’t have waited until it was dark. They didn’t want me to find out.” Tobin answered, and Alex looked down, but Tobin could read Alex’s face.

“You think I should try and figure out who it was?” Tobin asked, making Alex look back up again.

“It’s your life. I don’t want to tell you what o do but, yeah.” Alex nodded. “Maybe it was a mistake. But make it wasn’t. There’s only one way to find out.”

As much as Tobin didn’t want to admit it ,she knew Alex was right. The only way she would ever find clarity about this situation is if she knew who it was and exactly why they did it. 

“I mean, it’s kind of romantic.” Alex said, further encouraging Tobin, as the two began to laugh.

“But, the world cup.” Tobin defended. “You and I both know that’s the more pressing matter at hand. And I should be more focused on that."

“Well, you and I also both know that you won’t be able to focus on that until you figure this out.” Alex came back with. 

Once again, Tobin knew Alex was right. 

“Seriously though. I think we should try and figure out who it was.” 

“I thought you were going to get food?” Tobin wondered, but Alex took off her shoes and got comfortable. 

“Nah, I’m more interested in this.” Alex said,  “We are gonna find out who kissed you.” 

“We?” Tobin asked.

“Yes, we.” Alex smiled, making Tobin do the same. 


	3. There's a Bit of History Between Kelley and I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Alex realize there may have been another possibility as to who kissed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love that you guys are enjoying the story!! Honestly it’s so much fun to write and i love hearing your ideas about who kissed Tobin so definitely message me whatever you’re thinking!!! I love love LOVE getting comments from you guys :) Updates are gonna be as quick as possible because I want to put this whole story out before I go back to school in August and I know I’ll be too busy to update. Oh, and another thing, I’m gonna try and balance Tobin’s time with everyone so while she may heavily be around/talk to one character in one chapter I promise it won’t be like that all the time, so bare with me! Either way, here we go for chapter 3!

“Hey.” Alex said as she sat in front of Tobin at the table. The table was designed for two, so when Christen saw Alex take the seat that she was planning to, she decided to sit with Crystal Dunn instead.

“Hey.”

“I got the guest list from Lauren.” Alex said, making Tobin almost choke on her food.

“You got the what?” She said, taking time to swallow.

Alex chuckled and pulled out a list. on her phone. “I told her there was this girl I thought was cute but forgot her name and she totally bought it.”

“Girl?” Tobin repeated, making Alex blush. “I didn’t realize you were, you uh-“

“Into girls?” Alex said, making Tobin’s cheek flush with red. 

“Yeah. I mean, it’s none of my business, I just always assumed you weren’t.” Tobin said, being very careful about what she said next, not wanting to offend Alex.  

"I think with me marrying a guy that's a fair assumption." Alex joked. "But I've always been attracted to girls and guys equally." 

"Oh." Was all that Tobin could say. 

_Oh? Seriously Tobin? Oh? She just came out to you, and all you have to say is, oh?_

"Either way," Alex spoke up. "She gave me the list and didn't blink twice. You said you had no idea who it might be?” 

“Well actually.” Tobin said, as she stole a quick look at Christen and then shifted her attention back to Alex. Alex turned to see who Tobin was looking at and saw Christen, who was smiling at Tobin, even though Tobin wasn’t looking.

“You think it might have been Christen?” Alex questioned.

Tobin paused before answering, giving Alex her answer.

“You’re hoping it was.” Alex followed up with.

Tobin absolutely didn’t want to admit to Alex that she liked Christen. But she also couldn’t find it in herself to lie to her.

“Yeah.” Tobin answered.

“Don’t worry Tobin. Your secret is safe with me.” Alex reassured her, and Tobin knew she could trust her. "I mean I kind of had an idea." 

"You did?" Tobin asked.

"Tobin, you look at her like she's the only person in the world. And she returns the favor, trust me." Alex told her. 

"She does?" Tobin said, sneaking another look over at Christen, who was too engaged in conversation to notice Tobin was basically staring at her. 

"So what makes you think it could have been her?" Alex said, wanting to bring Tobin's attention back to the conversation.

“I’m not 100% sure, but she was being super cryptic that entire night. She was talking about being with the person she liked and how they may be at the party and how she- so, I was talking to her when Amy came over and asked if she could take me away, and Christen said as long as she could have me back before midnight.”

“She said that??” Alex said, shocked.

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t know if it means anything.” Tobin responded.

“Tobin, if I said that to someone, it’s 100% because I was planning on kissing them at midnight.”

“But wouldn’t you then like, follow up with them? At least bring it up?” Tobin said, and Alex agreed.

“I mean, that would make the most sense. But I’m not her. I don’t know what’s going on in her mind.” Alex told her. “How has she been acting around you ever since?”

“Pretty normal.” Tobin admitted, that being the reason she wasn’t able to confidently tellit was her. Christen’s interactions with Tobin, pre and post the New Years kiss has been exactly the same.“Which is why I highly doubt it was her.” Tobin continued, looking over the list.

“So, you have no clues, no sense of ideas of who it might have been?” Alex questioned.

“Well, it must have been a girl.” Tobin confidently told her. “I put my hands on her hips when we kissed.”

“Ooooh, steamy.” Alex teased, making Tobin laugh. “Tobin, if you had enough to to wrap your arms around this person’s waist, it was definitely an intentional kiss. And it sounds like it was more of a make out than a kiss." 

Tobin blushed, “Stop, it was like 3 seconds. I mean, a really, really good 3 seconds, but only 3 seconds.” She answered, making Alex laugh.

“Well, that crosses out about half of the people on this list.” Alex said, taking her phone back to get another glance at it. “Which means you locked lips with someone in this room?”

“What?!” Tobin coughed up.

“The only girls at that party were the girls in this room.” Alex answered, deleting every guy’s name from the list. “Look for yourself.” She said, as she turned the phone around to show Tobin a much shorter list.

And Alex was right, the remaining names were all names Tobin recognized, simply because they were her teammates.

The person who kissed Tobin was in this room. Tobin smiled, looking around and making eye contact with Christen. She gave the forward a smile, and Christen returned it. 

“Hey ladies, what’s going on?” Ashlyn said, approaching their table and catching them both off guard. Alex nearly dropped her phone, but Tobin was able to catch it, and immediately put it away.

“Woah, my bad,” Ashlyn snickered. “Didn’t mean to scare you guys. What were you looking at?” 

“Instagram.” “Twitter.” 

Alex and Tobin faced each other, afraid to speak up incase the other contradicted their words again, but finally Alex decided to do so. 

“An Instagram post about a tweet. It’s talking about our group for the world cup.” Alex lied, signaling for Tobin to play it cool. She knew it was a lame excuse, but she hoped it was enough for Ashlyn to buy it. 

“Yeah. I can’t wait for it to start. We both can’t.” Tobin went along.

“Tell me about it. Can’t wait until we go to France.” Ashlyn agreed.

“Us too.” Tobin added.

“Well, I wanted to see if you still wanted to join Ali and I later for lunch after practice Al? And Tobin, you’re more than welcome to come. We can make it a double date.” Ashlynsaid, wiggling her eyebrows at Alex. 

"Cool it." Alex said, signaling for Ashlyn to stop. Tobin wasn't sure why Alex seemed angry at Ashlyn all of a sudden, but she figured it was because the term double date made Alex uncomfortable. 

Which, in all honesty, made Tobin kind of sad. The team used to always tease Tobin and Alex, and often treated them as if they were dating. And Tobin and Alex weren't bothered by it, they enjoyed it, and would end up encouraging the team even more by continuing to act as if they were dating, despite only being best friends. 

But that was then, and this is now. And Tobin knew that. 

“Nah, I’m okay. I’m probably going to come back to the hotel and take a nap after practice. Thank you though.” Tobin graciously answered. It’s not like she didn’t want to go, but she knew she wasn’t nearly as close to Ashlyn and Ali as Alex was. 

Ashlyn gave Tobin a smile an then shifted her attention to Alex. “And you?”

“Yeah. I’ll be there.” Alex said, trying to keep the conversation short. She loved Ashlyn, of course, but was eager to resume the conversation she was having with Tobin. 

“Cool. I’ll text you about it later.” Ashlyn finished, waving goodbye to the girls and walking away.

“Okay, new rule.” Tobin breathed out in a sigh of relief. “We cannot discuss this in public, ever.”

Alex absolutely agreed, “For sure.”

 

Tobin climbed on the bus and naturally took her unassigned-assigned seat next to Christen. She got ready to plug in her headphones when she saw Christen failed to do the same. 

“Why aren’t you listening to music?” Tobin wondered.

"Well I wanted to talk to you at breakfast, so I wanna talk to you now.” Christen said. 

“You wanna talk to me?” Tobin said as she felt her heart race. 

“Yeah. I have to reach my daily quota of Tobin talk.” Christen giggled, and Tobin thought it was the cutest thing in the world. 

“Tobin talk?” Tobin repeated, laughing as well.

“Yeah. Any day that goes by where we don’t talk just isn’t a good day.” Christen said, and Tobin could feel how red her cheeks were.

So, they talked. All the way until the practice field, an entire 45 minute conversation. They talked about the World Cup, about next year’s Olympics, about anything. They were both eager to keep the conversation going. Christen made Tobin laugh with her impressions of her teammates, and Tobin did the same by telling random stories that happened over her holiday break. It was the longest time Tobin didn’t think about the kiss.

And that translated over into practice. Because she didn’t spend every second wondering about the kiss, Tobin was killing it and everyone knew it. Every touch was perfect, every shot was on goal and hard to stop, and she made runs up and down the field that made defenders difficult to guard.

“Alright girls, take a water break.” Jill said, causing the girls to run over to the benches where their water was waiting for them. Not Tobin, though. She was on fire and didn’t want to lose her edge, so she decided to practice penalty kicks instead.

“Geesh Tobin, you’re killing it out here.” Christen said, leaning against the goal.

Tobin paused her kicks and looked up,“Thanks. I had a terrible day yesterday so I knew I had to bring it today.”

“You weren’t terrible yesterday.” Christen stated, making Tobin laugh. 

“Christen, we both saw what happened yesterday.” She said, in between laughs as Christen joined in. 

“Well then that’s crazy because that your terrible isn’t even my best.” Christen laughed but Tobin became serious and immediately responded, “What?!”

“Come on, you know it’s true.” Christen said, giving her a genuine smile. “You’re on a completely different level from the rest of us.” 

 

“Hey,” Tobin said, walking closer to Christen, “You have to be joking. Christen, you’re easily one of the best players in the country, in the entire world.” 

Christen shook her head looked at the ground. Just as much as Tobin hated talking about her looks, Christen hated talking about her soccer performance. 

“I wish you could see yourself how I see you.” Tobin admitted, making Christen look back up. Once their eyes met, Tobin’s heart skipped a beat. Christen would be lying if she said hers didn’t as well. 

Christen smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, “Tobin I have to-“

“Hey.” Alex said, coming up to the two of them. “Tobin, I really need to talk to you.” 

“Can it wait? I’m kinda-“ Tobin said, referring to the conversation she was having with Christen. Tobin could sense that Christen was going to admit something.

“No, no worries.” Christen said, stepping further away from Tobin and Alex. “We were just chatting. And this seems important.” Christen finished, and Alex nodded.

“Thanks Press! I think Julie said she wanted to talk to you about something.” 

“Thanks.” Christen said, as she gave Tobin one last smile and headed over to Julie. Tobin then shifted her attention to Alex, who was sure if this wasn’t of the upmost importance, she would be furious. “What’s going on?” Tobin asked.

“I’ve been thinking, and I know we said we wouldn’t talk about this in public but I wanted to come tell you before I forget, obviously when we crossed out all the guys on the list it got much shorter.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin agreed. 

“And we already decided the kiss was intentional.” 

“Right.” Tobin said, not entirely sure where Alex was going. 

“So when you take away everyone here who is married or we know is straight, that has to be like just a couple of girls left.” Finally, Tobin understood, and actually smiled at the idea of getting closer to figure out who kissed her.

“No way!” Tobin said out disbelief. 

“Yes way!” Alex said, smiling along with her. 

“Dude, you’re a genius!” Tobin said,pulling in Alex for a hug, and Alex laughed as she did the same. 

“I know. I like to be modest though” Alex joked, making Tobin laugh as she pulled away from the hug. 

 

“Alright so,” Alex said, sitting across from Tobin on her bed. “We really shaved the list down a whole bunch.” 

“Who’s left?” Tobin wondered.

Alex began reading the list out loud, but Tobin leaned across to look at it. One name stuck out to her in particular:

_Kelley_

Alex immediately stopped and turned to Tobin. “You think it was Kelley?” 

“Did I say that out loud??” Tobin questioned. 

_Geesh Tobin. You’ve been so in your head these past couple of weeks that you don’t even know if you’re speaking to yourself or out loud.  I gotta get a grip._

“Okay, dude, you’re starting to scare me.” Alex said in response to listening to Tobin talk to her self again. 

“I uh, there’s a bit of a history, between Kelley and I.” Tobin admitted, not wanting to look Alex in the eye

“Tobin, every time this gets a little easier, it gets so much more complicated,” Alex sighed. “But go on"

"What’s the story?”


	4. Straight Girl Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a flashback, Kelley comforts Tobin after her heart breaks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any chance anyone is re-reading this story, I'm currently in the process of reconstructing it, so bare with me!

Tobin didn’t care about a lot of things.

Well no, she did. But she didn’t react to a lot of things. It took a lot to make Tobin cry, it took a lot to hurt Tobin.

She just found out that Servando and Alex were engaged. She was innocently scrolling on instagram when a picture of Alex showing off her new ring while Servando was kissing her cheek came up on her timeline. 

So here Tobin was, beyond the realm of being hurt. Tobin was heartbroken. She was broken, she was dismantled, there was no word to describe the pain Tobin was feeling.

She wanted to be happy for Alex, and deep down, part of her was. Alex was her best friend, and she loved Servando. She knew this was all Alex ever wanted.

But this isn’t what Tobin wanted. Tobin wanted to go over to Alex’s house, knock on the door, and tell Alex the she loved her, that she always loved her, and she’s always going to love her.

She would never tell Alex that. Tobin would never ruin Alex’s happiness, and their friendship like that.

Alex Morgan was easily Tobin’s worst straight girl heartbreak. Tobin hated herself for falling in love with Alex, a woman who would never look at her, or other women like that.

Tobin heard a knock on her door, and initially decided not to respond. But then, a series of knocks followed.

“Tobin, I know you’re in there. Open up.”

Tobin shook her head, “Go away Kelley.”

“No.” Kelley insisted. 

“Kelley-“

“Tobin Powell Heath, open this door right now.”

“Kelley I-“ Tobin paused to stop herself from crying. “I just really want to be alone.”

“I know,” Kelley said, her heart breaking at the broken voice of one of her best friends. “But you don’t have to be.”

Tobin shook her head, growing slightly annoyed at her friend resilience. 

"I love you O'Hara, but I really need you to leave."

“And, and I don’t want you to be alone. Tobin, please. I know you’re hurting, and it hurts me that you’re hurting, because I just, I care about you so much.” 

Tobin contemplated getting up to open the door, but her entire body just felt heavy. It’s like even if she wanted to, she couldn’t have gotten up.

“Okay. That’s fine.” Kelley said. “I get it, you want to be alone. And that’s fine, that’s your right. But it’s my right to be here for you. And that’s why I’m going to do. I will sit outside this door until you’re ready to see me. So take your time babe, because I’m ready when-“

Kelley was caught off when the door opened and Tobin ran to Kelley to hug her. Kelley immediately wrapped her arms around Tobin, and Tobin just began to sop even harder. 

They stayed like that for a while, and Tobin didn’t even care if her neighbors came out and saw, or if they heard what was going on. She was too heartbroken to care about anything right now.

Tobin felt safe, in Kelley’s arms. She never told anyone about her feelings for Alex, but if you really knew Tobin, you knew how she felt for the younger striker.

Which is why, as soon as Kelley saw Alex’s instagram post, she got in her car and drove over to Tobin’s apartment.

“I’m so stupid.”Tobin said, as Kelley passed her another tissue.

Kelley shook her head, rubbing Tobin’s back as they sat on her couch. “You’re not, you’re so not.”

“She’s straight, Kelley.” Tobin blatantly said.

“Honestly Tobin, I don’t think anyone is 100% straight.” Kelley admitted. “I mean, I see how you guys interact. I see how she interacts with you, I see how she looks at you, how she talks to you, how she talks about you. You are the most important person in her entire life, and I don’t think it’s just because she values your friendship.”

“I want to believe you, Kelley, but at the end of the day, she’s still engaged to Servando. They’re going to get married, and I’m going to be alone forever.” 

“Aw babe, I promise you you’re not.” Kelley told her. “Believe me. Someone is going to come along and realize how amazingly beautiful of a person you are, inside and out.”

“I don’t want someone to come along. I want- " Tobin couldn’t even bring herself to say her name. “I feel so stupid.” She repeated, placing her face in her hands.

“Tobin, you can’t help you you like. Trust me.” Kelley said, drawing from her own experiences. “You and Al have so much chemistry, and I know it must have been hard to pull away from that.”

Tobin nodded, grateful that Kelley understood what she was failing to articulate.

“Come on,” Kelley said, standing up and taking Tobin’s hand. “We gotta get you out of here, you need space from this situation.” Tobin took Kelley’s hand and stood up, following the defender out of her apartment. 

 

Kelley didn’t have a certain destination in mind, so the two aimlessly walked around downtown.

The walk was quiet, Kelley would ask Tobin random questions, of which Tobin either responded “yes” or “no”, but Kelley wasn’t going to get a longer response, and she knew it. Still, she kept asking Tobin questions to distract her from her own thoughts. 

“You know, I think you can do better.” Kelley told her, making Tobin playfully scoff in disbelief.

“I’m being serious.” Kelley responded. “I mean, you are so amazing Tobin Heath. And I don’t think Alex ever fully understood just how amazing you are. I mean, not only are you the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, but you’re so amazing at soccer, and your heart is so big, and you’re so smart.” Kelley felt like she could go on for days, making Tobin blush.

“You’re amazing too.” Tobin spoke up. “I mean, no one else would have came over tonight if you didn’t. And I didn’t even have to text you, you just came over. And refused to leave, even though I wanted you too.”

“Because you needed me!” Kelley said, making Tobin laugh. 

“You’re so supportive, you are so passionate about things you believe in, your sense of humor is sub-par,”

“Hey!” Kelley said, pretending to be offended. “I can still make you laugh though.”

“I laugh at everything.” Tobin admitted, chuckling.

Kelley laughed, pulling Tobin in for another hug.

“I love you, O’Hara.” Tobin said, facing her. "And I don't want you to leave." 

“I love you too Tobs.” Kelley smiled. "And trust me, I'm not going anywhere." 


	5. Are You Mad At Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex becomes overwhelmed when talking about the past with Tobin

“Oh.”

The tension was so sharp it could be cut with a knife.

Neither girl knew what to say. In a sense, this information was new to the both of them. Alex had no idea Tobin ever liked her. And Tobin didn’t realize how much she used to like her until finally saying it out loud to her.

“Oh.” Alex repeated, struggling to find words to say. 

“Yeah.” Tobin said, regretting telling Alex the truth, and looking for a way to clear the air between them. “I mean, I, I don’t feel that way anymore. Obviously, I don’t have any romantic feelings for you, like, at all.” 

Ouch. Alex thought to herself. She knew Tobin didn’t mean it in a way to hurt her feelings, but she couldn’t help but sit there in front of Tobin, hurt. 

“Well uh, thanks for being honest. And obviously I didn’t mean to hurt you in any way.” Alex said, touching Tobin’s thigh.

“I know Al,” Tobin said, placing her hand on top of Alex’s. 

Alex’s entire demeanor has changed, and Tobin could tell. 

 _Way to screw things up, Tobin._  

“So uh, you used to like Kelley?” Alex said, pulling her hand away from Tobin’s embrace. 

“I don’t think so.” Tobin truthfully answered.

“You don’t think so? Or you don’t know?” Alex asked, annoyed.

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?”

“It means, have you ever wanted to be with Kelley or not?” Alex asked again.

“I don’t know!” Tobin exclaimed, and Alex shook her head.

“How can you not know?” Alex wondered. “It’s simple, either you liked her or not.”

“Alex, you and I both know liking someone isn’t that simple.”

“Okay. Have you ever been attracted to Kelley?”

“Well, yeah.” Tobin responded.

“Okay, on to a good start. Have you ever wanted to…do things with Kelley?”

Tobin looked away, and Alex’s face fell. “Oh my god.” Alex said, after coming to a realization.

“You’ve already done things with Kelley.”

 _How did I get into this mess?_   Tobin wondered.

“Are you mad at me?” Tobin wondered, and Alex shook her head.

“No! Of course not.” Alex said, playfully hitting Tobin’s arm. “I’m just trying to help you figure out who kissed you.”

Right. That’s what this is all about. Tobin reminded herself, trying to get back on track.

Of course Alex doesn’t care if I used to like her, or if I may have done things with Kelley. She’s just trying to be a good friend.

“We kind of made a pact at your wedding.” Tobin told her.

Alex was almost too afraid to ask, but still did so, “What kind of pact?”

“We told ourselves if we were both still single in 5 years, we would try…dating each other.” Tobin answered. “And at first, we were both joking around, and then as the night went on and more things happened, and now that I’m thinking of it, she brought it up on New Years and she was the last person I talked to right before the kiss,” 

Alex could feel herself fighting back her tears, not that she would ever let Tobin know. 

Alex didn’t even know why she was so upset.

That’s a lie. She did.

Tobin wasn’t the only one who had feelings for the other back then.

“Well, how has she been acting ever since?” Alex questioned.

“She’s been completely ignoring me. We can’t even make eye contact without her immediately turning away. Maybe she’s embarrassed that she-“

“kissed you?” Alex completed Tobin’s sentence, making Tobin nod.

“But are you embarrassed?”

“No, I mean, I love Kelley. I care about her a lot.”

“Two minutes ago you were caring about Christen a lot.” Alex said, causing Tobin to react. 

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” 

“I just, one second you’re oozing over Christen and the next you’re telling me you made a dating pact with Kelley who apparently did things with at my wedding.”Alex said, grabbing her things and standing up.

Tobin was confused, “For someone who claims to not be mad at me, you seem to be pretty mad at me.”

“I’m not mad!” Alex exclaimed. “I’m just trying to help you out. You were happy at the prospect of Christen kissing you, but I think you need to figure out how you feel if it was Kelley. I wouldn’t want to see anyone else get more hurt.” Alex said. “I uh, I’m gonna go meet up with Ali and Ashlyn now, but text me if you have any new realizations or anything.”

With that, Alex gave Tobin a sad smile and walked out of the room, and Tobin began to think about Christen, about Kelley, and now about Alex. What did Alex mean by not wanting to see anyone else get hurt? Who has already gotten hurt?

As soon as Alex was in the clear, she broke down and starting crying. Crying because she spent so many years with Servando, when she wanted to be with Tobin. When she could have been with Tobin.

But Alex knew her moment has passed. So she wiped her tears, and told herself to get over it. If Tobin was going to be in her life, it would be as a friend, and Alex knew she had to accept that. 

 


	6. See You in 2019!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the night of Alex's wedding in 2014, Tobin, Kelley and Alex all have monumental realizations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been trying to spice things up so expect a couple of curveballs here and there!! Thanks for sticking with me and my story, I hope I’m keeping things interesting for you guys!!! Let me know what you think :)

“Alright, don’t move.” Kelley said, applying the final part of eyeliner on Tobin.

“I have to sneeze.” Tobin admitted, but Kelley ignored her. 

“Don’t do it, I’m almost done.”

“I’m going to sneeze.” 

“Don’t do it.” 

“I’m going to-“ Tobin sneezed into her elbow, lightly pushing Kelley away, and ruined the perfect line Kelley was in the process of finishing. 

“I’m… going to kill you.” Kelley sternly said, but Tobin laughed. 

“I told you I had to sneeze!” Tobin defended. 

“And look what you look like now.” Kelley exclaimed, placing a hand mirror in front of her friend. Rather than a sleek like across Tobin’s eyelid, it extended all the way across her face. 

“I think I can pull it off.” Tobin joked, wanting to make Kelley laugh.

Semi-effectively, Kelley cracked a smile at Tobin's remarks. “There are a lot of things you can pull off, but this is not one of them.” 

“Hey!” Tobin said, pretending to be offended.

Kelley laughed. “Self awareness is key, Heath.” She grabbed a make up remover and began to wipe the eyeliner off. “Okay seriously, don’t move.” She said, trying to redo it.

“I got you.” Tobin nodded, earning Kelley’s trust.

“How are you feeling?” Kelley wondered.

Tobin wasn’t sure how she was feeling. A couple of weeks ago, just the mention of Alex or her wedding was enough to make Alex cry. But day by day, she was learning how to get over Alex Morgan.

“I’m okay.” Tobin reassured Kelley. “Thanks for asking. And thanks for dealing with me these past couple of months. I know I’ve been a complete mess.”

“You haven’t been a mess. I mean, not anymore than you usually are.” Kelley teased.

“I can’t tell, are you trying to comfort me or make fun of me.” Tobin laughed. 

“I’m trying to comfort you by making fun of you.” Kelley corrected. “Alright, all done. What do you think?”

Tobin looked at herself in the mirror, content with Kelley’s work. “Thanks Kelley. You’re the best.”

“Well, it's helpful when your subject is someone as beautiful as you.” She said, making Tobin blush. 

“You look beautiful tonight too. I mean, you always look beautiful, I just mean tonight you look extra beautiful. Not saying that you look any less beautiful on-“ 

“Tobin, you’re killing me.” Kelley laughed as Tobin tripped up on her words. She had no idea why, but recently should would get anxious when she was around Kelley, which was definitely something new.

 

“I just mean, you look really good. And you should know that.” Tobin said, making Kelley smile. 

“And you should know that if any time it all become too much for you, say the word and we can head out.” Kelley said, grabbing both of Tobin’s hands. 

“Kelley, we can’t just leave Alex’s wedding. That’ll break her heart.” 

“And what about your heart?” Kelley asked.“Tobin, I love you. And I love her but I’m not gonna sit by and watch your heart shatter to pieces because you wanna be there for her. You gotta be there for yourself as well. And until you are, I’ll be there for you.” 

Tobin appreciated Kelley more than she would ever be able to describe.

 

As soon as they got there, they were greeted by their teammates and metal friends. Kelley was sure to keep Tobin close, just incase she got the signal that they needed to go.

“Hey, Tobin?” Jerri, Alex’s older sister said as she tapped Tobin’s shoulder. Tobin turned around to see her, surprised at who it was. Because she had spent so much time with Alex, Tobin and Jeri knew each other as well.

“Hey Jeri.” She said. “What’s going on?” 

“Alex wants to see you.”

Tobin was confused to say the least, but she still followed Jerri to where Alex was. She was sitting in a gazebo, next to the house of where Alex and her bridesmaids had gotten ready. 

As soon as Tobin saw Alex in her wedding dress, Alex took her breath away. This was the first time she saw Alex like this, opting out of Alex's invitation to go wedding dress shopping with her. 

Alex turned to Tobin, obvious she had been crying. When Tobin realized this, she immediately squatted in front of Alex and Jerri backed away, wanting to give them their space. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Tobin said, wiping Alex’s tears away.

“Something.” Alex blurted out, shaking her head. “And I don’t know what it is, Tobin, but something’s wrong. This doesn’t feel perfect.”

“Nothing’s perfect.” Tobin tried to reason.

“But this doesn’t even feel right.” Alex came back with.

“Well, what can I do?” Tobin wondered. No matter how hurt she felt, she would do anything to make sure Ale was happy. Especially on her wedding day. 

“Tell me not to do it.” Alex urged, and Tobin was taken aback.

Tobin wasn’t sure what she ever did to the universe to deserve this, but this was cruel. The girl she loved was not only getting married to someone else, but standing here in front of her telling her not to marry him. 

“Alex, I can’t-“ 

“You can.” Alex assured her. “Everyone is telling me that I’m just getting cold feet, and to go through with it but they are just telling me what they think I want to hear. But I want to hear the truth. And if you tell me right now that this is a mistake, that I shouldn’t be marrying Servando, I won’t do it.” 

“Why me?” Tobin asked, and Alex cupped her face to emphasis her next point. 

“Because-“ She was careful in choosing her words. “Because you mean everything to me. You’re the most important person in my life. And if you tell me not to do it, I know it's the truth." 

“And what happens if I tell you not to do it?” Tobin said, giving in to her temptation to do so. 

Alex pushed a strand of hair behind Tobin’s ear. “We’ll leave. I know this venue inside out, we’ll sneak out of here, and we’ll runaway to Paris or Hawaii or hell, New Jersey if you’d like.” Alex said, making Tobin chuckle.

“I’m not joking, Tobin. We can go anywhere you’d like. We can even go on my honeymoon, it’s already paid for.”

“Jesus Alex,” Tobin exhaled. 

This was all Tobin ever wanted. And here it was, for her taking. But Tobin never wanted it like this. She knew Alex wasn’t speaking romantically. Tobin knew Alex wasn’t saying this because she wanted to be with her, she just didn’t want to be Servando. 

“Tobin, I don’t care where we go. I just want to go there with you.” Alex said, snapping Tobin out of her thoughts.

Tobin took a deep breath. This was the most serious she had ever seen Alex. And everything in her was telling her to tell Alex what she really wanted to say. That she loves her, she’d always loved her, and that she wanted to leave with Alex, but not as friends, but together.

Tobin hugged Alex and Alex quickly did the same. 

“California?” Alex offered, making Tobin laugh.

“We are not going to runaway to California. We would immediately be found.”

“But we have so much history in California.” Alex said, referring to the time her, Tobin, and Kelley lived together. The three of them did everything together, truly cementing their friendship.

“Which is why we are not going to runaway to California. We would be instantly found.” Tobin said, facing Alex again. “We aren’t going to run away at all.”

“Tobin,” Alex pleaded, but she was cut off. 

“You’re just scared, and that’s understandable. This is a huge commitment. You’re choosing to be with one person for the rest of your life.” 

“What if I chose the wrong person?” 

“You didn’t.” Tobin told her. “You love Serv, and he loves you. So get out of your head, and go get married.” 

Alex looked at Tobin, still unsure, but knowing Tobin wouldn’t ever lie to her. So she hugged her, and then faced her one last time, looking for any doubt or uncertainty on Tobin’s face, but couldn’t find any.

“Thanks Tobs.” Alex said, getting up and helping her friend do the same.

Tobin took Alex’s hand and led her back into the house where her sisters and mother were waiting for her. Once Alex went inside, she went and took her seat. 

“Where were you?” Kelley asked, but Tobin shook her head.

“I need a drink.”

 

And so, at the reception, Tobin and Kelley got one.

About 7 drinks later, they both were drunk, to put it in nice terms. 

“You are the dumbest person I have ever met.” Kelley said in response to what Tobin just told her. “She was basically telling you she loved you and wanted to be with you.

“She was not.” 

“Was too!” Kelley defended. “She was all like,” Kelley cupped Tobin’s face to make fun of the way Alex did earlier from when Tobin told her. “I don’t wanna maaaaary Servando, I wanna marry youuuu. And your stupid self said, no go marry Servando.”

Tobin shook her head, breaking free of Kelley’s light grip. “You weren’t there. It wasn’t like that.” 

“Whatever Tobs. We gotta find you someone new. Someone who isn’t going to string you along and make you feel the way she does. Someone who respects you and-

“You!” Tobin exclaimed.

"Someone who respects you and you?" Kelley repeated, making herself laugh hysterically. 

"No!" Tobin giggled. "Youuuuu." She said, poking Kelley's thigh. 

Kelley laughed, “You and I? Me and you?” Tobin eagerly nodded in response. 

“We wouldn’t work.” Kelley told her. “Trust me. I’ve given this thought." 

“You have?” Tobin asked. 

“We’re waaaaaaaaay too similar." Kelley said, partially answering Tobin's question. We both like the same things and… eat the same foods.”

It was now Tobin’s turn to laugh. “So because we eat the same food we wouldn’t be a good couple.” Tobin repeated, laughing even more. “You’re so drunk.”

“You’re so drunk!” Kelley came back with, laughing as well.

“Here’s my proposition.” Tobin said, inching closer to Kelley. “In 5 years, if you’re single, and I’m single, we should give each other a try.”

“Yeah?” Kelley smirked, taking another sip of her drink.

“Yeah. I mean, what if we were like that cliche couple you see in movies that were always best friends and and- and the chemistry was there but we just never gave each other a chance?” Tobin said, well more like slurred, but Kelley understood enough of it.

“Tell you what Heath. We’ll give us a try.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. But not for another 5 years.” Kelley followed up.

“See you in 2019 then.” Tobin said, barely raising her cup to meet Kelley's, who chuckled and clinked her drink against Tobin's to cheers. Tobin began to drink, while Kelley looked at Tobin. 

Kelley leaned into Tobin's ear, “You wanna get out of here, Tobin?” She asked, sending shivers down Tobin's spine.

“I’m not, no I’m not sad right now. I don’t need to leave.” Tobin choked out, patting Kelley's thigh. 

“That’s not why I want to leave right now, Tobs.” Kelley winked. Tobin turned to look at Kelley, and realized she was dangerously close. Not that Tobin minded. So, she took Kelley's hand and lead her out of the reception, back to her apartment. 

 

 


	7. Pretend This Didn't Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin ends up in front of a certain someone's door.

That was 5 years ago. The morning after, Tobin and Kelley were so hungover that they didn’t even remember what they told each other.

However, they did remember sleeping with each other.

Tobin and Kelley thought it would be beyond awkward waking up next to each other. But once they made that first eye contact in the morning, they looked at each other and began laughing.

“Dude,” Kelley said, rubbing her eyes, “What did you do last night?”

“Me?” Tobin said, hitting her with a pillow. “You were the one who was like, wanna get out of here?”

Kelley laugh and rolled her eyes. “Well you didn’t have to take me seriously.” She reasoned.

“You didn’t have to take me seriously!” Tobin came back with, making Kelley laugh again.

“I know we like, just hooked up but, promise me we’re okay? Like, that won’t change our friendship.” Kelley said, and Tobin nodded, appreciating that her and Kelley were on the same page.

“Of course. We can just pretend this didn’t happen.” Tobin smiled.

That’s what Tobin and Kelley agreed to. Ever since that night, 5 years ago, Tobin and Kelley haven’t even talked about that night. They refused to let what happened impact their friendship, and honestly it was like nothing happened.

Their friendship didn’t falter at all afterwards. Well not until Tobin withdrew for their friendship, but she withdrew from everyone. So Kelley knew the reason they were no longer friends wasn’t because of that night, because that night was just a drunken pursuit.

Or at least, that’s what Tobin thought. That’s what she knew. And it’s what she knew Kelley knew as well. But thinking about it now, why else would Kelley actually bring up the pact at New Years if there wasn’t some truth to it for her?

Alex was right, and Tobin knew it. This was all becoming super messy, super quickly.

And speaking of Alex, Tobin couldn’t understand why she stormed out like that.

 _She said she’s not mad, but she definitely was._ Tobin thought.

_But why? What the hell did I do?_

_Maybe she’s annoyed on how tricky this was all becoming. Alex agreed to help me figure out who kissed me, not be my therapist as I talk about unresolved feelings between Kelley and I._

_Honestly, I would be annoyed to._

It was funny, even without trying, Alex somehow found a way to creep into Tobin’s mind. Which usually, Tobin didn’t mind. But now that Tobin had a million other things on it, she became annoyed at herself for not focusing on what she needed to.

_But what should I even focus on? How pissed off Alex clearly was at me, and if I should apologize, although technically I don’t even know what I did?_

_How I hooked up with Kelley, and she may have kissed me on New Years, and was being serious about the pact?_

_How I feel about Christen?_

Tobin groaned, decided her mind was the last place she wanted to be right now. So she got up and decided to go on a walk.

_Time to just focus on me._

Tobin walked down the hallway of the hotel that washousing her teammates, accidentally over hearing some noise from some of the rooms. She laughed as she heard Sonnet and Rose dancing to some song, and smiled as she heard Jessica facetiming her son.

I wonder what life would have looked like if I just told Alex what I wanted to say on her wedding night.

 

_Alex cupped her face to emphasis her next point._

_"You mean everything to me. You’re the most important person in my life. And if you tell me not to do it, I know it's the truth."_

_"You're right, Al. You shouldn't be here, about to marry Servando. You should be getting ready to marry me. I love you, more than I've ever loved anything or anyone, and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you make me. Let's leave, and start our life together."_

_Alex smiled and kissed Tobin, not removing her hands from her face. "I love you too."_

 

 _Enough about Alex._ Tobin sternly said. She stopped and realized she was in front of a certain door, so decided to knock on it.

“One second!” Tobin heard. Soon after, the door swung open and the person on the other side was shocked to see Tobin.

“Oh god.” Kelley said. “This is about New Years, isn’t it?” 


	8. Just Like Old Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A talk with Kelley doesn't exactly go the way Tobin thought it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 updates in one day!!!! Well, this is not the most romantic or the longest chapter, but honestly one of my favorites to write so far. It was just so wholesome and pure and it sets up things for later chapters, I promise!! I know I’ve been focusing more on Alex and Kelley in recently BUT we got a whole lotta Christen coming your way very soon!! Once again - thanks for the support, i love hearing your thoughts on my story! Special thanks to creativethinking62 and ayeesha, i LOVE seeing your comments in my inbox!!! Here we go for ch 8 :)

“Can I come in?” Tobin asked. Kelley didn’t verbally answer, but opened the door wider, signaling that it was okay for Tobin to do so.

And so she did, but she not exactly sure where, or even if she could sit. Instead, she awkwardly stood against the wall while Kelley took a seat on her own bed.

“You can like, sit.” Kelley offered, gesturing to the empty bed next to her. “She ran down to get some ice but I’m sure she won’t mind if you sat.”

“Who’s she?” Tobin wondered, referring to Kelley's roommate. 

“Just Allie.” Kelley responded.

“Oh, okay.” Tobin obliged and took a seat at the corner of Allie’s bed. The two sat there in an uncomfortable silence, waiting for the other to speak up first, and hoping they wouldn’t have to.

“How did- how did you know I came here to talk about New Years?” Tobin stuttered out. She was honestly terrified to ask, but somehow found the courage to do so. 

“I mean, I knew it was something important that you came here to talk about. And considering New Years was the last time we interacted, I just put two and two together.” Kelley answered, but Tobin was even more confused.

“How did you know I came here to talk to you about something important?” Tobin followed up, slowly becoming more interested in that.

“It’s not often that you stop by to visit or to hang.” Kelley answered. “Anymore.”  

“That’s not true.” Tobin defended, but Kelley shook her head in disagreement.

“Tobin, come on. When’s the last time you came to visit my room during camp just because you wanted to hang out or just say hi?”

"When we watched that movie in Rio." Tobin proudly answered, making Kelley laugh. 

"Exactly. That was what, like 3 years ago at the Olympics?" Kelley said, and Tobin's confidence vanished. 

"Has it really been that long?" Tobin asked. 

Kelley nodded, "Yeah. Trust me, it feels like it's been that long too." 

“Oh.” Was all she could find to say. 

“I mean, it’s fine. I don’t want you to think that I’m attacking you or anything.” Kelley quickly spoke up. 

“I know.” Tobin said, giving her a reassuring smile. “What happened to us? I mean, we used to hang out all the time.”

"You tell me. I mean, you're right we used to hang out all the time. We all used to hang out all the time. Me, you, Allie, Alex. We were inseparable. Jill used to make us run extra laps at practice because we couldn’t stop talking and laughing during the drills. It’s like we were immature high schoolers.” Kelley said, making Tobin let out a soft laugh.

“But then, I don’t know. You stopped talking to us during drills, which I got, because you wanted to focus on soccer. But then you stopped coming over to my room to watch movies. And then you stopped coming out to eat with us. And then, you stopped our face-times and calls and texts. And now, when we walk past you in the hall you look to the ground so you don't have to say hi to us." 

All of this was hitting Tobin hard. It was like a harsh slap of realization to the face.

_Was I really that mean?_

“And I mean, Allie and I never took it personally.” Kelley said, not wanting Tobin to think she was trying to attack her.

“What about Alex?” 

Kelley sighed. “Maybe you should ask her, Tobin. I don’t wanna speak for her."

Tobin nodded, knowing Kelley was right. Kelley never told Alex a word about what Tobin used to say about her. She knew Kelley wouldn't ever tell Tobin what Alex says about her either. 

“I mean, I get it." Kelley spoke up again, "I know you were like totally in love with her and she broke your heart and you needed to distance yourself cause you wanted to get over her. But then, you did get over her, and continued to distance yourself, from everyone. And I don't know, Al just took it the worst.

Tobin knew she had distanced herself from her friends. But she didn’t realize how much of a toll that took out of them, especially Alex. 

To be frank, Tobin felt terrible. Tobin looked to Kelley to try and find any sign of anger, her own or on Alex’s behalf. She just looked like someone who really, really missed her best friend. 

"I'm really sorry." Tobin admitted, but Kelley quickly spoke up. 

"Oh, don't be. You know Alex, she-"

"I'm not talking about her right now" Tobin said, and Kelley became quiet at her realization. "I know you said you didn't take it personally but I know that doesn't mean it didn't hurt any less. I would never, ever intentionally try and hurt you, and I'm so sorry I did." 

Kelley wasn't an emotional person, but she found herself slightly feeling so at Tobin's words. 

"Tobin, don't, it's okay. No worries." 

"No, it's not okay." Tobin came back with. "You mean so much to me, you always have. And you didn't deserve to get treated like that. I guess I just started to withdraw from you guys because of what happened with Lauren and Amy." 

"What happened with Lauren and Amy?" Kelley wondered, and Tobin shook her head. 

"Not anything bad. It's just, Lauren retired, Amy stopped playing for the national team. An entire decade of being able to see them and hang out with them ended, just like that. And of course we all knew we would keep in touch but, things would never be the same between the three of us. And that made me so sad and angry and alone. It's like something had been taken from me." Tobin stopped to fight back the tears she could feel forming. 

"I told myself I never wanted to feel like that again. With the kind of job we have, friendships are unpredictable. I kinda adopted this mindset that people could just be taken out of my life at any moment, without my consent or anything. My closest friends would come and go, and it hurt way too much to watch them leave so I-"

"Stopped being close to anyone, at all." Kelley finished, and Tobin nodded. 

"It was a defense mechanism. I was trying to protect myself and I didn't realize that I ended up hurting the people who matter most to me. And I'm so sorry. And if you give me another chance, I'd like to earn my way back into your life. Back into everyone's life."

"Tobin." Kelley choked out, getting up to hug Tobin. Tobin smiled and hugged her back, and both knew all were forgiven between the two of them. 

"I've missed you dude." Kelley admitted, pulling at Tobin's heartstrings. 

"I've missed you too, Kelley. So much." She said, drawing small circles on Kelley's back. "And I'm so sorry I left you stuck with Allie." She joked, making Kelley laugh. Tobin loved Allie just as much as she loved Kelley, but couldn't help herself when it came to making fun of her.

"That was the true crime here." Kelley laughed as Tobin joined in. As Kelley pulled away from the hug and saw the smile on Tobin's face, she knew Tobin was being sincere. 

Kelley wanted to just say it, the truth, about New Years. But she knew it wasn't that simple. Whatever she was about to say to Tobin, no matter how she put it, was going to change everything, forever. 

"Tobin I should tell you that-" 

Kelley was cut off when Allie and Alex walked into their room. 

"No way!!" Allie exclaimed upon seeing Tobin. “The man, the myth, the legend, right here in my room!!!” Allie pulled Tobin in for a hug, effectively lightening up the mood.

“You haven’t stopped by for a visit since I don’t even know how long.” Allie said, pulling away from the hug, smiling.

“We are actually gonna head out,” Kelley said, remembering why Tobin came over. “We need to talk about something.” She said, not sure how much longer she could keep what she knew to herself.

Alex gave a look to Tobin, wondering if the thing they needed to talk about was the kiss. Tobin picked up on it and shook her head. “No. We don’t. Not right now. I’d rather just, hang out with you guys, if that’s okay.”

Kelley and Allie both smiled, and Tobin looked to Alex to see if she would do the same. She did, but looked to the ground to try and bit her lip to prevent Tobin from seeing how happy that made her. 

Tobin knew she wanted to figure out who kissed her, and what Kelley alluded to before when she mentioned New Years. But she also knew she hasn’t been the best friend, or even a friend at all to the people who loved her the most, and it was time to start making it up to them. 

“Of course that’s okay!!!” Allie said, dropping her bags, jumping on her bed and grabbing her laptop. “What are with binge watching tonight, ladies?” She said, as she began to scroll on Netflix.

Alex, Kelley and Tobin joined her on Kelley's bed, the four of them squishing together, trying to find a show. 

While Kelley and Allie argued about what to watch, Tobin turned to Alex and said, “I’m sorry.”

“No, I should be sorry. I totally flipped out on you for no reason.” Alex said, alluding to the tense conversation they had before Alex grabbed lunch with Ali and Ashlyn.

“No, I’m sorry. For being a terrible friend to you these past 3 years. For involving you in this New Years mess in the first place." 

“No, I- I like being in this mess, with you.” Alex stuttered, making Tobin chuckle. 

“I like being in this mess with you, too.” Tobin smiled.

“Awww, look at them Kels! All cuddled up next to each other, staring into each others eyes, just like old times.” Allie teased, making Kelley 'awww' in response.

“Yep.” Tobin said, placing an arm around Alex and turning to smile at Kelley and Allie.

"You guys are so cute it honestly makes me sick." Allie responded, as Alex took Tobin's hand in her own. 

Kelley and Allie immediately resumed their bickering about which show they should watch, while Alex would occasionally give her suggestion. Tobin just smiled looking at her 3 friends knowing they'd spend more time arguing about which show to watch that night than actually watching the show. Still, with a smile on her face, she thought to herself,

_Just like old times._


	9. I Know Who Kissed You on New Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley tells Tobin her side of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! Things are really starting to get serious now, but I promise you not everything is as they seem ;). Try and keep and open mind after this chapter and in the upcoming chapters, because there are some big things coming up!!! Again, thanks for all the love and support, let me know what you guys think!

“Alright girls.” Alex said, standing up. “As much as I would love to spend the night here, we do have an early practice tomorrow.” 

She took her hand out for Tobin to take, signaling to Tobin it was time for them to leave. Tobin took her hand without hesitation, assuming Alex was trying to help her stand up. However, once she stood up, Alex failed to let go of her hand. Tobin didn’t mind- she knew Alex was an affectionate person. Everyone else would saw Alex was only an affectionate person towards her. 

“Yeah, we should definitely go to bed.” Tobin added.

“Fineeeee.” Allie dragged out. “But tomorrow, we are finishing the show.” 

“Allie, no, we are never watching this again.” Alex said, shaking her head. “You wasted 4 hours of my life I will never get back.”

Everyone but Allie laughed, who pretended to be offended. 

"You liked it." Allie defended said, but Kelley spoke up. "No one liked it. You're officially banned from picking the show from now on." 

"Kelley! You're my roommate, you're supposed to have my back." Allie said, as Tobin and Alex chuckled. 

"I mean..." Kelley said. "It wasn't that bad." 

"No, it was bad." Alex corrected, and Kelley agreed. 

“Whatever Morgan. Get out of my room.” Allie teased, gesturing to the door. 

And so, Alex and Tobin did, saying goodbye and goodnight to their friends. 

“You know,” Tobin said as she walked down the hallway to their room. Interestingly enough, the two were still holding hands. 

“I don’t care anymore. About the kiss, about New Years.” Tobin admitted, slightly shocking Alex. 

“You don’t?” Alex questioned, making Tobin nod her head in response. 

“I don’t.” Tobin simply said. 

 

And so, for the next week, Tobin didn’t think about the kiss once. She woke up, got breakfast with Allie, Kelley, and Alex, and got to chat with Christen on the bus and in between drills during practices. She got to focus on the upcoming friendlies at the end of the camp, and even began focusing on the World Cup. 

For the first time since the kiss, Tobin was felt free. Free of the mystery, free of the burden of trying to figure it out. Whether it was Kelley who kissed her, she knew Kelley didn’t mean it romantically, and if she were to admit it, they would both realize there was no meaning behind it. Sure, Tobin may have been attracted to Kelley in the past, and Kelley the same, but they both knew their attraction to one another was nowhere close to their friendship.

And if it was Christen, who Tobin was developing more and more feelings for each day, of course Tobin would be happy. But Tobin still didn’t know if Christen was into her, into girls even, at all. And she knew if Christen kissed her, she wanted to, but may not have admitted it yet because she was scared to come out. And Tobin knew it wasn’t her place to force Christen to do so by telling her she kissed her at New Years. 

 

Jill had granted the girls a day off, just 2 days before their friendly against France. Tobin definitely wasn't complaining, her body could use a day's worth of rest. 

Tobin didn't make any plans, but Alex did. Her family had come to visit her that day, so Alex was getting ready to go grab lunch with them. 

"Where are you going to take them?" Tobin wondered, laying on her bed as she scrolled through her phone. 

"I don't know." Alex answered. "We are probably gonna just start driving and pick out a place that we see on the road. I did see this brunch place not too far from here though." 

"You're lucky that you have something to do." Tobin enviously told her. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I'm bored out of my mind." Tobin answered, sitting up. "I wanted to just rest today, but I forgot how boring resting truly is." 

Alex chuckled, "Well, you're more than welcome to come to lunch with my family and I." 

"Oh no, I couldn't. I wouldn't want to intrude on your family time." Tobin initially denied. 

"Intrude?" Alex repeated. "Tobin, my family loves you more than they love me." 

"That's not true." Tobin laughed. 

"It is! Oh my god for the past 3 years, all I've heard is, where's Tobin? How come you talk to Tobin anymore? How come you don't post about Tobin anymore? How's Tobin doing?"

Tobin couldn't help but feel sad, further realizing how her absence from her friends life have truly hurt them.

"You wane me to come? Seriously?" Tobin considered, and Alex nodded. 

"Yes. Oh my god, I love my family, but if I hear one more comment about my divorce I'm going to lose my mind. But they wouldn't bring it up in front of you." Alex said. 

"Oh," Tobin said. "That's the only reason you want me there?" 

"No, oh my god Tobin no." Alex stopped what she was doing and turned to face Tobin. "I'm sorry if it sounds like that. I just mean that would be an extra bonus. I would love to have you there, for so many other reasons. You're funny and you tell the best stories, and-"

"I know." Tobin giggled, lightening the mood. "To be honest, you had me at your first invitation. I just had a feeling you would compliment me if I resisted."  

Alex playfully hit her, "You're the worst." She turned back to the mirror to continuing doing her hair. 

"You love me." Tobin teased, getting up. Considering how nicely Alex was dressed, Tobin knew she could not go to lunch with Alex's family in her current attire of a tank top and sweatpants. "I just have to change and I'll be ready." 

Tobin realized, however, that she didn't have any 'nice' clothes. At least not with her. For camps, she always packed athletic attire. "I don't have anything to wear though." She admitted.

"Hmm..." Alex thought out loud. "Maybe you can borrow something from Allie? I would give you clothes but to be honest, this is the only thing I brought." She said, referring to the clothes she was currently wearing. 

"Good idea. I'll be right back." With that, Tobin headed over to Kelley and Allie's room and knocked on the door. 

 

Someone who didn't have as great as a week as Tobin? 

Kelley. 

Because she knew who kissed Tobin at New Years. 

While Tobin has felt as liberated as ever, Kelley has been miserable for a week. Why? 

Because she knew who kissed Tobin at New Years. 

And all Kelley wanted to do was tell Tobin. She was conflicted, because it wasn't her story to tell. She was convinced the person who kissed Tobin didn't want other people to know how she felt about her just yet, which is why she waited until the lights were out to kiss Tobin. Kelley knew the person who kissed Tobin didn't even want Tobin know. 

But Tobin did want to know. And Kelley knew that. She knew that when Tobin stopped by her room a week ago, but had a change of heart when Allie and Alex came into the room. And then Tobin never brought it up again, so she figured Tobin just dropped it. Which, Kelley had no problem with. But now it was Kelley who couldn't drop it. 

Kelley was never any good and keeping secrets, especially ones that would affect her friends in huge ways. Yet, here she was, carrying this weight around since the beginning of camp. At first, Kelley was able to get away with it. Her and Tobin weren't close, and if Tobin even looked at Kelley, Kelley would immediately turn away. It was easy to not tell Tobin because she didn't even speak to Tobin. 

Now, they talk everyday. Her, Tobin, Alex and Allie eat together for every meal. They stay up late to binge watch stupid shows. Kelley was grateful to have her best friend back, but it became so much harder to keep the truth from Tobin. 

Kelley was brought out of her thoughts when she heard a knock on her door. She wasn't expecting any visitors, so she figured it was Allie who just forgot her key. She went up to answer it, but saw Tobin instead. 

Tobin spoke up, but Kelley only caught a couple of words:  _"lunch"_ and _"Alex's family."_ and _"something to wear."_ Kelley could feel her body physically holding her mouth back from telling Tobin what she knew.  

 _Come on Kelley, you've hid this for 2 weeks now, don't give up now._ Kelley thought, trying to motivate herself from spilling the truth. 

"Kelley?" Tobin said, waving a hand to bring Kelley out of her trance. "Did you hear what I said? I asked if-" 

"I know who kissed you on New Years." Kelley blurted out, leaving Tobin confused. 

"What?" Tobin asked, so Kelley pulled her into the room and closed the door behind her. 

"You absolutely cannot tell anyone I told you this, not even the girl who kissed you." Kelley said. She didn't even wait for Tobin to oblige before she continued talking. 

"I was drunk, as we both know, and I don't remember a lot, but I remember this part super specifically. I was looking for you to remind you of the dumb pact we made 5 years ago because I thought it was funny, and it was roughly a couple of minutes before midnight, before I finally found you and you were in a rush somewhere but I still reminded you but you took off, and then Christen came up to me and asked me if I've seen you and I pointed vaguely in the direction and... I kind of black out at this part, but then, I overheard you and Alex talking about it when we first got to camp at breakfast and I put two and two together and-" Kelley had no idea how she was able to spit all of that out in one breath, but she did so. She finally paused to breathe, when she realized how shocked Tobin was. 

"She kissed me." Tobin said, stating it more than asking it. "You're telling me that Christen Press, kissed me?" 

"I mean, I didn't see her do it cause it was crazy dark in there, but yeah. All the signs, at least the ones I got are pointing to her." Kelley confidently responded. She had no idea how Tobin was going to interact, but she braced herself, because she knew Tobin was going to yell and get angry and ask how she could have kept this from her for so long. 

Instead, Tobin had the biggest smile on her face as pulled Kelley in for a hug. "Christen kissed me!!!" 

Kelley couldn't help but laugh, as she saw how excited her best friend was. She hugged her back, sighing a breath of relief. 

"I gotta go tell Alex." Tobin said, rushing toward the door. 

"Wait Tobin-" Kelley said, stopping her from leaving. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean with everything that's going on between you two..." Kelley hoped Tobin would pick up what she was putting down, but of course, Tobin was not. 

"Nothing's going on between us." Tobin said, confused. "I mean, we are working on becoming friends again but that's about it." 

Kelley loved Tobin, with her entire heart, but she could be the most dense person in the entire world. Kelley knew Alex and Tobin better than they knew themselves, which is how she knew Alex and Tobin have been in love ever since they first met.

It was obvious, Kelley thought. Alex has a rough exterior, it takes a while for her to actually get close to someone, and she doesn't take it easy on anyone, ever, but she was always so patient with Tobin. 

And Tobin, chill, relaxed Tobin, was always the biggest nervous wreck whenever Alex's name was even mentioned. 

 

“Of course it’s a good idea. She’s been trying to figure this out with me and she’s gonna be so happy that we did! You did! Kelley, thank you so much!!” With that, Tobin ran into her room, eager to tell Alex. 

"You're never gonna believe what Kelley just told me." Tobin said, catching Alex's attention. 

"What?" Alex wondered. 

"It was Christen." 

Alex took a moment to process what Tobin just told her. "It was Christen who, who..." She couldn't even get the words out. 

"Yeah. Christen came up to her a couple of minutes before midnight to ask me where I was, and then followed me into the crowd." 

"She saw Christen kiss you?" Alex asked. 

"No. But like, she's pretty sure she did." 

"Well..." Alex said, looking for something to say. "How does that make you feel?" 

"How does it make me feel?!" Tobin exclaimed. "Alex, I'm ecstatic! I'm over the freaking moon. I mean, I wanted it to be Christen, you know that, but I wasn't sure because she's not out yet but, I really like her. And I think she may like me too. I mean, midnight on New Years? That's a pretty big deal." 

"I thought you didn't care." Alex said, and Tobin was confused as to why Alex wasn't as happy as she was. 

"I mean, I didn't care about finding out, but now I know. Why aren't you happy?" 

Alex put on her best fake smile that she could. "I'm so happy. As a matter of fact, I'm so happy, that you should go hang out with her right now. Since clearly you guys are into each other." 

"Aw no, come on. I wanna go get lunch with you and your family." Tobin protested. 

"No, don't worry about it. This is bigger." 

"But-"

"Tobin Heath, it's fine. Seriously. Go. I'm happy for you." Alex got up to hug Tobin, trying to sell her emotions. She then turned to face Tobin, and even cupped her cheeks. "You deserve this. You deserve her. So go get her." 

Tobin smiled, grateful to have such a supportive friend in Alex. "Enjoy lunch!" She said, as she grabbed her phone and walked over to Christen's room. 

 


	10. I'm Really Proud of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin spends her day off with Christen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, your comments on my update literally made my entire week!! The support from you guys have been AMAZING and encourages me to keep going! It’s so sweet how you guys wanna make this a fun experience for both the author and the reader, and writing this has definitely been so much fun for me, i hope it’s been fun for you guys as well. Only a few more chapters left, enjoy this one (it's a cute one :) )!

_Hey Chris, so, this is going to sound kind of random, but I really like you, I’ve liked you for a long time, and like, I don’t know, maybe we could, if you’re free, we could go get like, food or something?_

_No. That’s so lame Tobin, you can do better._

_Yo, Chris!_

_Nope. No, don’t ‘yo’ her._

_Heyyyyy Chris-_

_No. Way too long of a hey._

_Forget this, I’m just going to day whatever comes to my mind._

Tobin brought her hand to knock on Christen’s door, but completely froze. 

_What am I even doing here? I mean, knowing it was Chris who kissed me changes nothing. I can’t ask her about it, because if she wanted me to know she would have said something to me._

_I should just go. I shouldn’t even be here, I should with Alex- I want to be with Alex._

Tobin lowered her hand and took out her phone, ready to text Alex.

 

Alex was in the passenger seat of her mom’s car, not really listening to the conversation that was at hand. She felt her phone vibrate and pulled it out, only to see two texts from Tobin.

 **Tobin** : Hey, I’m at Chris’s door but can’t stop thinking about you... Text me what restaurant you’re at and I’ll come meet you

 **Tobin** : I promise I’ll even wear something nice :)

Alex smiled, immediately texting Tobin back.

 **Alex** : on our way to the Italian restaurant across from our training field. 

 **Alex** : see you soon! :)

 

“Tobin?” Christen said, grabbing Tobin’s attention.

Tobin put her phone away, realizing she probably looked like an idiot.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” Christen asked, making Tobin smile. 

“I was just about to knock… any chance you’re free right now?” Tobin asked.

“Well, I was actually going to go for a walk down at the pier, if you want to come with?” Christen offered. 

“Yeah.” Tobin said, and it was now Christen’s turn to smile. 

“Yeah?” Christen repeating for confirmation 

“Yeah.” Tobin confirmed, and the two were on their way.

 

There was never a dull moment in their conversation, and if it wasn't Tobin's turn to laugh, it was Christen's. 

“So of all places you decide to go, you choose a beach…in the middle of January?” Tobin asked, making Christen chuckle.

“Where else are you going to get this view?” Christen said, causing Tobin to turn around to truly admire it. 

“Yeah. It is pretty.” Tobin admitted.

 _“Not as pretty as you.”_ Christen said, making Tobin blush. “Oh shoot, did I say that out loud?” Christen asked, trying to hide her embarrassment.

If it was up to Tobin, she would have kissed Christen right there, and it would have been perfect. But it wasn't, she knew the ball was in Christen's court, so she had to fight back the urge to do so.

Tobin giggled, “No worries. I do the same thing all the time. It completely freaks Alex out.”

“You and Alex are pretty close, huh?” Christen questioned.

“I-“ Tobin began to answer, but honestly, wasn’t quite sure how to. “It’s complicated,” was the best, and most accurate response Tobin could think of. 

“Can I ask you something, Tobin?”

“Go for it.”

"It's, It's a little personal, so you don't have to answer if you don't want to." Christen clarified, but Tobin didn't change her answer, eager to see what she was going to talk about. 

“How did you realize you were, like, into girls?”

Tobin knew Christen wasn't just asking her this out of curiosity, so she took a moment to give her the most authentic answer she could find. 

“I didn’t. I realized I was into one girl. And it didn’t take that long, it took maybe like, 20 minutes later I met her.” Tobin said, making Christen laugh.

“Cause that’s the thing, you know? When you allow yourself to just fall in love, without restrictions based off of gender, or race, or sex, that’s how you know it’s real. Cause you never would have guessed that that’s the person you love, but it is. Cause it’s not like you were planning on falling in love, it just happened. And I guess that’s what happened with me. I didn’t hold back when I met her and just allowed myself to fall in love with her.”

“Sorry,” Tobin said, “Didn’t mean to rant, I hope I answered your question somewhere in there.”

“No you did, you did.” Christen assured her. The two fell into a silence, but it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable - it was pleasant, for the both of them, until Christen spoke up.

“I think I- I think I met my girl.”

“Your girl?” Tobin questioned.

“Yeah, my girl. Like you know how you had your girl from your story? I think I met my girl. And I think I’m in love with her.”

“I-“ Before Tobin could speak, Christen spoke up again.

“I think I may be gay.”

“Yeah?” Tobin asked, wanting to be gentle. She knew how scary it was to come out, not even to other people, but to yourself, so she didn't want to make Christen feel like she was judging her in any way. 

“Yeah. And it’s exactly like you said, I didn’t plan on falling in love with her, it just sorta happened. But I’ve never, I’ve never dating another girl before, I’ve never even kissed another girl before. I’ve never-“ Christen’s voice was getting smaller by each word. 

“I’ve never even talked about girls like this, out loud before.”

Tobin opened her arms for Christen, who allowed her self to be surrounded by them.

“I’m really proud of you.” Tobin told her. “I know that wasn’t easy to admit.”

"Thanks Tobs." Christen said, wrapping an arm around Tobin's body as well. This was the first time since Christen started developing feelings for girls that she felt comfortable having those feelings. Tobinmade her feel safe, and she didn’t want to let go of that feeling.

Of course Tobin wondered if she was the girl who Christen was talking about. But right now, she knew she had to be there for Christen without mentioning herself, so it was the last thing on her mind. The two of them stayed like that for a while in each others arms, watching the waves of the ocean crash onto the sand in front of them. 

  
  
  
 


	11. You Should Have Fought For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Tobin have a heated discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, can you even believe it? We have two chapters left, including this one. The support from you guys have been AMAZING and I'm so grateful you've all enjoyed the story as much as I've enjoyed writing it. This one was kinda sad, but it's not over yet, trust me! Enjoy this one!

Tobin and Christen both made it back to their hotel rooms, and hugged each other goodbye before they separated. 

Tobin had a really good day with Christen. After their deep conversation on the beach, they went and grabbed ice cream, where their conversation went back to the normal light tone they usually had. Christen was even able to sneak a couple of pictures of Tobin and posted them on Instagram (much to Tobin's dismay), with the caption:

**A great day with an even greater girl**

Alex nearly threw her phone when the post came up on her feed. Tobin wasn't just smiling, she was glowing. She even left a comment in response to Christen’s picture: 

** Had a lot of fun with you today Chris!  **

_Oh, so you can reply on Instagram, but not to a text?_

Alex could feel the happiness Tobin felt through the phone, and it drove Alex crazy. 

Not to see Tobin happy, of course. But to know that it wasn't her who had made her that happy. 

Alex told herself she didn't deserve Tobin. When Tobin told her about her breakdown once she found our Tobin was engaged, everything changed for Alex. Instead of feeling hurt because of what Tobin did these past few years by no longer associating with her, Alex began to feel hurt because of what she did to Tobin these past 10 years by being with Servando. 

Of course Alex didn't purposely hurt Tobin, and if she knew how much she did, she would have broken up with him before they even got married. There was a time where Alex loved Servando, but what she once felt for him had translated over to what she began, and still felt for Tobin. 

Alex was safe with Servando. She was able to go out in public and not be stared at, not like she would have been with Tobin. She was able to have a relationship not under public scrutiny with Servando, not like she would have with Tobin. And in the process of keeping herself safe, she ended up hurting the person she loved the most. 

However, the truth is, Alex simply didn't care anymore, what anyone thought of her. She could deal with the judgement and the criticism she would have received from anyone, because the end of the day, she still had Tobin. 

To be fair, Alex also simply didn't know that Tobin felt the same about her. Alex gave Tobin the chance to tell the truth at her wedding, when Alex was sure she wasn't supposed to marry Servando, but Tobin told her to do so. It's hard to believe a person likes you if they are encouraging you to marry someone else. 

But, 5 years later, Alex knew the truth. Tobin did like her. A lot. 

But now, it was too late. Alex wanted to be the person to take picture of Tobin and post them on her Instagram. And she wanted to be the person Tobin spent her day off with. And she wanted to be Tobin's person. But Alex knew that's not what Tobin wanted. 

Not anymore. 

And it broke her. 

And it's not like Alex could simply go back to how Tobin and her were a month ago - not talking to each other, because she just got Tobin back. She didn't want to lose her again. 

Alex definitely didn't hate Christen. She didn't even dislike her. She didn't feel any ounce of anger towards her. She didn't want to be mean to her, and didn't have any plans to do so. 

She knew if she had to hear about Tobin's day with Christen, even though she didn't know what happened, her heart wouldn't have been able to take it. She could barely even listen to Tobin talk about her past with Kelley, even though it was completely insignificant. 

So, when Tobin walked back into the room, Alex quickly put her phone down and pretended to be asleep. 

Tobin, of course, was beaming with excitement, and eager to tell Alex about her day, but when she walked in, she saw Alex laying down on her bed. 

"Alex?" Tobin said softly, afraid she was going to wake her up in case she was asleep. Tobin looked at Alex's face- her eyes were glued shut so Tobin figured she was in fact asleep even though it was only 7:21 PM. 

And so, Tobin put the blanket over Alex and turned off the lamp that was next to her. Tobin wanted to tell Alex about her day, but obviously was not going to wake her up to do so. Which was fine because there was always tomorrow. 

 

Except, when Tobin woke up, Alex wasn't there. She figured the forward had just decided to get an early breakfast, but when she went down to grab breakfast, she wasn't there either. 

"Hey, have you guys seen Alex?" Tobin asked, as she took her now normal seat at the table with Kelley and Allie. All though the tables were initially set up to only fit two at a time, Kelley and Allie have been dragging their chairs over and the four of them have been squishing on one table, but none of them minded. 

"No." Allie answered. "You're rooming with her though, she wasn't there when you woke up?" 

"No." Tobin replied. "I haven't seen her all morning." 

"I just texted her." Kelley said, opening her phone and showing Allie and Tobin the text.

 **Kelley** : where are you?

 **Alex** : got an early breakfast. Waiting on the bus.

"Huh." Allie said. "Well tell her to come back to hang with us." 

"I did." Kelley said, having already typed the response. Alex began typing, which Kelley could see, but then stopped. "She's ghosting me right now." 

"Oh well. She's probably too lazy to just get off the bus and come back." Allie reasoned. "We'll see her later." 

 

What Allie said made sense to Tobin, but she had a feeling it was more than that. "Looks like we have an empty seat at the table... Tobin why don't you invite Chris over?" Kelley suggested, as she saw Christen come off the elevator and into the room. 

Tobin smiled, waving at Christen who immediately waved back. She then pointed to the empty chair, inviting Christen to join, who did after getting her food. 

 

Alex saw Kelley's text, she acknowledged how ridiculous she was truly being once she saw the typed out excuse she was getting ready to send to Kelley.

After seeing how lame it, and she was being, she deleted the drafted text, got off the bus and walked into the hotel.

She wasn't trying to avoid Tobin, per say, but she also just needed to collect herself, before she had to interact with Tobin in any way. 

As Alex walked in, ready to join her friends at breakfast, she saw Christen take the spot at the table that she was planning to. So, to avoid everyone a super awkward situation, she simply just went back on the bus and decided to wait for everyone else to get back on. 

 

As the bus started filling in, Alex kept her head down, not in the mood to talk to anyone. And yet, as Tobin sat in front of her, she turned around to talk to Alex. 

"Hey, everything okay?" Tobin asked. 

Alex nodded, as she plugged in her headphones and leaned against the window. Tobin took a hint and turned back around, to be joined by Christen, as Alex was joined by Allie. 

Today's practice was a light one, considering they had a game tomorrow, but Alex still found a way to completely bomb it. Her head wasn't in the right space, and everyone knew it. Jill was a little more lenient since they had the game tomorrow and she didn't want anyone exerting too much energy, but she was anxious every time Alex touched the ball. 

"My body is ready, my mind isn't." Alex said, as she got subbed off of a drill and saw Jill approaching her. So, before Jill could yell or scream or do anything, Alex defended herself. 

"I'm not making excuses, but I just thought you should know that." 

Jill smiled and gave Alex a pat on the back, and then went back to watching the drill. She trusted Alex, and knew that she would be able to turn it on for a game. 

 

Even when they got back to the hotel, Tobin asked Alex once again how she was feeling, but Alex was dismissive. 

"I'm okay. Seriously." She knew Tobin didn't believe it, but obviously didn't want to go into the specifics. Thankfully, she knew exactly how to get Tobin off of her case. 

"Tell me about your day with Christen." 

And so, Tobin did. For what felt like hours and hours to Alex. Tobin had the biggest smile on her face every time she even said Christen's name, bigger than any smile Alex had ever seen, and it broke her heart. 

 

It was finally game day, the first game for the USWNT in 2019, against France. It was just a friendly, but everyone knew this game might be a preview for the World Cup later this year, so both teams knew they had to bring it all to really showcase their talent. 

Alex was focused - a lot more than she was yesterday. She wasn't going to think about Tobin or Christen or anyone who might cloud her game day mindset. As she climbed onto the bus, and her and Allie took their seats, Alex wanted nothing more than to focus solely on the game. 

"Oh shoot." Christen said as her and Tobin approached Alex and Allie's row. 

"What's up Press?" Alex asked, pausing her music. 

"It's just, well I'm sure it was an accident but I think you guys are sitting in our row." Christen told her. 

"Your row?" Alex repeated, and Christen nodded. 

"Yeah. Tobin and I always sit in row 8 and you guys in row 9, but right now you're in 8. And you of all people know how superstitious we get about the seating." Christen chuckled.

Ironically enough, during Christen's first cap with the team, she had taken a seat in Alex and Tobin's row. And Alex said nothing by it, and they simply sat behind Christen, but about halfway through the trip, Alex couldn't take it anymore, and Christen completely understood and switched seats with Alex and Tobin. 

Oh how the tables have turned. 

"Oh yeah, Al we are totally in the wrong row right now. Sorry about that guys." Allie said, grabbing her things. 

"You know, actually it's fine. our stupid seating superstition is archaic." Tobin said, as she started to sit behind them, but Alex stopped her. 

"No. Press is right." Alex said, throwing her bag in the seat Tobin was just about to take. 

"Seriously, Alex, it's not that big of a deal." Tobin said, but Alex disagreed. 

"No. It is that big of a deal. Even though technically, you and I used to sit in these seats. Remember Tobs?”

Usually, whenever anyone said the name ‘tobs’, they meant it in a playful way. But hearing the way Alex must said it, Tobin knew it was the complete opposite.

“Of course I remember, Alex.” Tobin defended.

Regardless, Allie and Alex moved, and Tobin tried to make reason of what was happening. 

Tobin would have smiled if she didn't know how hostile Alex was being right now. "And then Allie came and then you wanted to sit with her." 

"No, Christen came, and you wanted to sit with her." Alex corrected. 

"Oh Alex I'm really sorry, I'm not trying to start something." Christen apologetically pleaded, making Alex feel bad. 

"No,” Alex sighed, coming to her senses. “I’m sorry Press. I'm being psychotic right now.”  

"That you are." Allie agreed, not entirely sure what was going on. 

Christen smiled at Alex and then sat down, presuming that Alex was just anxious about the game, so she didn't take any harm to what Alex was saying. But Tobin did. She knew Alex too well to know Alex wasn't phased by the game, she was phased by her. 

But Tobin didn't want to think about that right now. In an hour and a half, they would be playing an important game, a game that would set the tone of 2019. 

 

But that game didn't end well. France had won 3-1. And while the rest of the team was slightly disappointed with their overall effort, Tobin was particularly mad at one person. 

"What is your problem?!" Tobin said as she walked into her and Alex's hotel room. "Not once in the entire game did you pass me the ball." 

“Maybe if you were open-“

“Don’t try that bullshit with me, Alex. I was sprinting my ass off to make sure I was but you didn’t even care!” Tobin exclaimed.

"What is your problem?!" Alex came back with. "Before I even look at the ball you're screaming at me to pass it to you!" 

"Yeah, because you failed to do so each time!" Tobin said. Alex could tell Tobin was angry, but she didn't care. She was angry herself. 

"You have zero faith in me on the pitch." Alex said, and Tobin scoffed. "Admit it. You want the ball each and every time I touch it because you're scared I'm going to lose it." 

"That is so not true." Tobin defended. 

"It is! Because I'm not as technical as you, right? I'm not nearly as good as you are, I don't deserve the ball the way you do. I don't deserve a lot of things, right?!" 

In that moment, Tobin knew this was about something deeper. 

"Alex, what has gotten into you these past couple of days?" Tobin wondered. 

"If you really wanted the ball, you should have fought for it. Because that’s what you do when you really want something. Regardless of how unattainable it may be, or how far out of reach you think it is, you fight for it. But you didn’t. So clearly you didn’t want it that badly.”

“What?” Tobin said, genuinely confused.

“You should have fought for me.”” Alex asked, and Tobin rubbed her temples, truly seeing what this was about.

““Don’t.” Tobin pleaded. “Don’t do that.”

“If you really wanted me, you should have fought for me. But you didn’t. And then you tortured me because you failed to do so.”

“Tortured?” Tobin questioned. “Who was really tortured, Alex? Me or you?" 

"Who had to watch the other be in a relationship, knowing they would never have a chance with the other, Alex, me or you?"

"Who had to fake a smile every time they were around the other to hide the way they felt, Alex? Me or you?”

“And who was completely ignored for 3 years, Tobin?” Alex said, mimicking Tobin. “Me or you? Who had to figure out what they did to ever deserve that kind of treatment? Me or you?”

Alex could feel the tears swelling in her eyes, but she refused to let Tobin see her cry, so she continued, “who had to watch their best friend in the entire world abandon them, on the bus, at practice, in every way possible, when they needed them the most?” Alex asked, referring to her divorce. "Me or you?!" 

“How was I supposed to know you wanted me to fight for you, Alex? You were with Servando!”

“For christ’s sake Tobin at my freakin wedding I was begging you to do so, and you didn’t!”

"Well of course I didn't!" Tobin exclaimed. "I just wanted you to be happy!" 

"I would have been happy with you!" Alex yelled, getting emotional. "You had a chance, and you didn't take it. If you really wanted to be with me, if you really wanted me, you would have fought for me, like you're doing for Christen. But you're not, you didn't." 

Tobin didn't even know what to say. She was feel a number of emotions: sad, angry, confused, guilty, that she couldn't decide which one she wanted to focus on. 

"Alex-" Tobin said, inching closer, to see how Alex would react. 

"Forget it. It's stupid." Alex said, as Tobin got close enough to give her a hug. "Stop, you don't have to like, comfort me or whatever."

Tobin stopped, to see that Alex was crying now. 

Alex wiped her tears, and took a step closer to cup Tobin's face. 

"I know you like Christen, so much. I can literally see it on your face. So go get her, before it's too late." Alex said, pulling her hands away. 

"Alex-" Tobin began to protest, but Alex stopped her. 

"Seriously. You wanted her to be the one who kissed you at New Years, and you found out she was. And I can see it on her face how much she likes you. So go fight for her, and just tell her how you feel and be honest and-" 

"Do all the things I couldn't have done with you." Tobin finished, as Alex gave her a sad smile. 

"Yeah, exactly." Alex wiped her own tears, and then backed away from Tobin. She then motioned for the door, and for the first time in the past couple of weeks that Alex had been telling Tobin to go get Christen, Tobin knew she was being serious this time. 

So that's what she did. 

 


	12. No Harm No Foul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mystery comes to an end for Tobin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, I can't believe we are already at the end! Writing this for you guys has been so amazing, and reading all of your comments in my inbox everyday puts the biggest smile on my face!!! I know not everyone is gonna be happy with this ending, but just know that I put in a lot of hard work, and I think it's cute for everyone in the story, and i'm proud of it. Also remember that is not my only fic/pair i'm going to be writing, so there's more to come. Idk if anyone would want me to, but I would be down to doing an epilogue if you guys want, but i'm okay with ending it here if you are! Enjoy!!! And thanks for everything :)

Here Tobin was, exactly how she was two days ago. Standing in front of Christen's door, but this time, knowing exactly what she is going to say. She was about to confess her feelings, and wanted it to be a perfect moment for the both of them. She decided she was just going to be direct.

_I like you, and I want to date you,_

_Alex._

_Tobin, if there was ever a time to truly stop thinking about Alex Morgan, this is it._

_Focus on the girl you like. Focus on the girl you want to be with. Focus on…_

“Alex.” Tobin said out loud. She looked up and down the hallway to make sure no one else was there, and thought Tobin was losing her mind.

In that moment, everything clicked for Tobin.

She knew exactly why it did, and she knew exactly what she had to do.

So she ran back into her hotel room, only to see Alex was no longer there. She texted her,

 **Tobin** : where are you?

But Alex didn’t respond. Tobin groaned and ran over to Kelley and Allie’s room, furiously knocking on the door.

"What the hell is going on?" Kelley opened the door, confused as to why Tobin was basically banging on her door.

"Where's Alex?" Tobin asked.

Kelley pouted, "She came over here sobbing, didn't tell me what was wrong, and then told me she needed to go on a walk, and I wanted to go with her but she was begging to be alone."

"No idea where she might have gone?" Tobin questioned, but Kelley shook her head.

"She honestly just flew out of here." Kelley said apologetically.

"Okay, thanks Kelley." Tobin said, as she walked away and ran downstairs. She knew Alex couldn't have gone far, since it's only been about 10 minutes since they talked. So she just started walking in a random direction, hoping to find Alex soon.

20 minutes later, Tobin was still looking for Alex. She hasn't given up yet, but it was becoming harder and harder for her to not do so. She has been texting and calling Alex non-stop, while also looking around for her.

Getting more and more frustrated by the minute, she walked back to the hotel.

“Tobin?”

Tobin looked up, and saw a familiar face sitting on a bench outside of her hotel. 

“Were you here this entire time?” Tobin asked, an Alex nodded. 

“Yeah. I needed some air.” Alex said. Under different circumstances, Tobin probably would have laughed. When she came out of the hotel, if she would have just taken 2 seconds to look around, she would have saw Alex right there.

“I guess I gotta start paying closer attention to you.” Tobin said, approaching her.

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” Alex wondered. “And why aren’t you with-“

“I know it was you who kissed me on New Years.” Tobin said, causing Alex’s eyes to widen.

“No I didn’t-“

“Yes it was.” Tobin said, taking a seat next to her. “I was right in front of Christen’s door, getting ready to knock, knowing exactly what I was going to say, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I couldn’t stop thinking about how you always cup my face, the same way you did at your wedding, the same way you just did in the hotel room, the same way you always do when either of us are stressed.” Tobin took a short pause,

“The same way you did when you kissed me on New Years.”

Tobin felt a pair of warm hands on her face, as she was soon after met with a kiss. Tobin,placed her hands on their hips, almost like an instinct, and kissed the person back.

Alex, almost too afraid to talk, found the courage within herself to do so.

“I didn’t plan on kissing you. I just, I saw you at the party, in the crowd of people, and it’s like, all the feelings I’ve felt over the past 10 years just took over me.” She paused to look at Tobin’s face, looking for a reaction. “And then, you pulled away, and I, I got scared so I just ran away.”

“And, I was going to tell you, I swear, but I knew I couldn’t just text you, so I wanted until I was going to see you in camp, and then I could see how badly you wanted it to be Christen, and I knew you would be disappointed if you found out it was me.”

“So you pretended to help me?” Tobin asked. 

“I figured if I helped you, you wouldn’t think it was me, and I could just pin it all on Christen. No harm no foul.” Alex truthfully answered.

“No harm no foul?” Tobin asked. “Alex, you spent the last 3 weeks completely lying to my face. I mean I- I trusted you with this, you saw first hand how much this was driving me crazy, and you just let it! You let this distract my soccer and interfere with my relationship with people.”

“Tobin, I’m so sorry.” Alex apologetically said. “I, I just, you wanted it to be Christen so bad. And I could tell she liked you too, and I didn’t want to-“

“So 5 seconds ago, when you were yelling at me because I didn’t fight for you, here you were this whole time, not fighting for me?” Tobin asked.

“Tobin, of course I wanted to fight for you. And I know I was just so angry because you didn’t do the same for me but, I understand why you didn’t. You sacrificed your own happiness for mine. And I knew it was time for me to do the same.”

“We both need to be a lot more selfish.” Tobin said, and Alex would have laughed if she wasn't so tense.

"What are you doing here, Tobin? Surely you could havecould have waited until after you talked to Christen." Alex asked, slightly changing the subject.

“I don’t know.” Tobin truthfully answered, setting the two into a long silence.

Tobin wanted to be angry with Alex. She wanted to officially end whatever messed up relationship she had with Alex for good. But she couldn’t. As she sat there next to Alex, she only felt one thing for the forward, the only thing she’s ever felt for Alex.

Tobin took a deep breath, “I guess I’m here to fight for you.” 

"What?" 

“When we first met, I didn’t plan to fall in love with you. I didn’t even want to. You were in a relationship with another person, a guy. But I did. And I’ve been in love with you ever since. All through the distance, through the heartache, through the friendship, through the ups and down, the only thing that has ever been constant about our relationship was my love for you, Alex, even when I didn’t want to, I’ve always loved you.

“Tobin,” Alex emotionally said, “I’ve always loved you too. And I’m always going to. Even though you can be a huge pain in my ass.”

Tobin laughed, causing Alex to do the same. Tobin leaned in closer, but Alex was the one to kiss Tobin, of course, cupping her face.

 

"Wait, I'm sorry, what?!” Allie said, nearly choking on her food as Tobin and Alex came down to breakfast, hand in hand. As of right now, Kelley was still asleep, so she wasn’t at the table. “When did this happen?” She wondered. 

“Hmm, about a month ago." Tobin answered. The days of their January camp were behind them, and they were now all reassembled, getting ready for the SheBelieves Cup.

“Well, hello?! I need details, what is the story?” Allie told them, dying to find out how her two best friends in the world were now dating.

“It’s kind of a long story.” Alex answered, but Allie didn’t care.

“I got time.” Allie said, urging them to explain it.

And so, they did. “I kissed Tobin at New Years-“ Alex said, but Allie cut them off.

“That was definitely not a long story at all.” Allie said, but Tobin laughed. “That’s just the beginning. I had no idea it was her.”

“Yeah, but she was trying to figure it out, and it was between me, Christen, and Kelley.”

“Kelley?! You thought it was Kelley?” Allie asked.

“We made like a weird pact 5 years ago, which of course we both were joking, but she was drunk and I thought she was being serious.” Tobin clarified.

“But, I thought, well I knew Tobin wanted it to be Christen-“ Alex said, only to get cut off by Allie again.

“You wanted it to be Christen?!” Allie asked, making Tobin laugh again.

“Harry, if you keep interrupting, we are going to be here all day.” She lightly said, making Allie chuckle.

“Fine, continue.” Allie said, and Alex did so.

“So I pretended to help her because I didn’t want to disappoint her when she found out it was me. And it worked, because Kelley told Tobin Christen came up to her and was asking for her a couple of minutes before midnight.”

“Kelley was in on it too?” Allie asked, not being able to stop herself from interrupting.

“No. Turns out Christen was asking for Tobin because she wanted her advice on whether she should go kiss Kelley, the girl she’s been crushing on, at midnight. That’s why Chris was looking for Tobin before midnight.”

“Kelley was drunk, and thought Christen kissed Tobin, when in reality, Christen kissed Kelley.”

“How do you forget someone kissed you?” Allie asked, as Kelley approached their table,

holding hands with Christen. “I was super drunk. I knew Christen kissed someone on New Years. I just didn’t realize it was me.” She finished, sweetly giving her new girlfriend a kiss on the cheek.

“Yeah, that’s what tequila will do to you.” Christen said, making them laugh.

And so, Alex, Kelley, Tobin, and even Christen each took turns explaining their side of the story to Allie, who eventually understood everything.

After finding out Tobin was not the girl Christen was pining over, which Tobin was obviously happy about considering she was with Alex, and that it was Kelley, she successfully matched them up, and Christen came out as openly gay to her teammates and her family, and received nothing but support. And now, Kelley and Christen were dating and completely happy with each other. Anyone who knew either of them could see that.

Their already squished breakfast table of 4 increased to 5, but none of them were bothered by it.

Interestingly enough, it was Alex who told them their friend group finally felt complete once Christen was there.

“She completes us.” Alex said, smiling at Christen who was across from her.

“I feel like you guys have kinda been dating for 10 years already.” Allie said, referring to Tobin and Alex’s newfound relationship.

“What do you mean?” Tobin asked, with an arm around Alex.

“Well, when people start dating, they go on all these dates to get to know each other, but you guys don’t even need to.” Allie explained. “You’ve spent the past 10 years going on dates, basically.”

“That's an interesting way to put it.” Alex said, smiling. “Happy 10 year anniversary then.” She told Tobin, making her laugh.

“Here’s to 10 more.” Tobin said, leaning over to kiss Alex.


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5 years into the future, old habits have become traditions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, this is officially it! I loved writing this, it was so pure and cute and I didn't have to worry about setting up some big mystery and not revealing too much or anything lol, just a wholesome talex chapter to finish off this series :) Once again, thank you so much if you made it with me this far in the story. Writing this, seeing your reactions has been the highlight of my entire summer. My inbox is always open for any of you!!! Enjoy!

_Not again._

Here Tobin was, in the middle of another crowd, helpless, lost, and confused.

“Al?” Tobin asked, but knew it was difficult to beat the loud music that was playing from the speakers.

“Alex!” She yelled even louder, but again, nothing. She sighed and went outside rejoining her friends.

“Couldn’t find her?” Lauren asked, and Tobin shook her head.

“If there’s anything I hate more than going to parties, it’s officially throwing them.” Tobin said, earning laughs.

“But you’re so good at it!” Kelley exclaimed.

“This is probably one of the best parties I’ve gone to recently.”

“To be fair, the only kind of parties we go to nowadays are kids birthday parties, but still.” Christen said, rocking her and Kelley’s infant son on her lap.

“Good point,” Kelley said, chuckling as she learned down to kiss Christen.

“Well, maybe go check again?” Amy suggested, as she watched her sons and Lauren's daughter run around in Tobin's backyard. “I know she wouldn’t miss it.”

“She might.” Tobin said, checking the time on her phone. She decided to call her wife, only to have it go straight to voicemail.

“Do you think I should do one more aerial cover, though?” Tobin said, becoming more nervous by the second.

“What’s the big deal?” Allie said, genuinely confused. “I remember there was a time where you made fun of people who cared as much about this as you do.”

“Well, Allie, things have changed, and this is clearly veeeery important to Tobs." Lauren teased, making Tobin playfully roll her eyes. "Probably more important than any of us are to her." 

“Whatever, Cheney. People change.” Tobin shrugged her off, still worried about Alex. 

 _It’s fine, I have time,_ Tobin assured herself. But as she turned and saw the husbands of her friends coming out to the porch, she knew she didn’t.

“I’m just, I’m going to do a quick check.” Tobin said, running into the house. She looked around, carefully examining everyone’s face until she was sure it wasn’t Alex.

Tobin pulled out her phone one last time to try and call Alex, but was met with no success.

Suddenly, Tobin felt someone turn her around, and smiled, knowing it could only be one person.

_10…9….8!_

“Hey you,” Alex said, making Tobin smile.

“I thought you were going to miss it!” Tobin told her.

_7…6…5!_

“I could never.” Alex said, puling Tobin close to her.

_4…3…2!_

“There is no other person in this entire world I would rather be with, I would rather go into this new year with, than you.” Alex said, the same thing she’s told Tobin for the past 5 years every time they did this.

And yet, Tobin smiled as if it was the very first time she ever head it.

_1! Happy New Year!_

Tobin pulled Alex in for a kiss, placing her hands on Alex’s hips while Alex naturally placed her hands on her wife’s face.

“Happy New Year.” Alex said, leaning her forehead against Tobin’s. "I love you."

“I love you too." Tobin said, stealing one more kiss. "Happy New Year.”  

 


End file.
